My Collection of Short Stories

Holding June

I took the cup of tea from the barister, thanking him. I put the change in my pocket, turning to leave. I stopped in my tracks and I could swear time stood still. Thinking now, time only stood still around him.

"Gabe?" I asked, my jaw almost hitting the floor in disbelief.

"Hazel? Why are you here?" He asked, raising a brow in confusion.

I paused, unsure if I should tell the truth. Would he tell my parents? Probably not. He hates them more than I do.

"I - um - I'm living in an apartment down the street. I moved here after everything. It's quieter," I said. He nodded in understanding, a sad look taking over his face.

He visibly gulped before asking, "Are you living alone?"

"No," I replied simply, not wanting to elaborate.

"Wow," he murmured, playing with the sleeve of his jacket. "Are you seeing someone?"

"No," I said.

"Living with a friend?" He asked.

I shook my head. It took a moment.

Another moment.

His face fell in realisation. "Don't tell me that she gave you custody of June?"

My eyes snapped up, meeting his. He found the answer, but not the one he was looking for. He looked terrified at the prospect of caring for a child. I found it amusing at how he hasn't changed a bit.

I shook my head, "You'll never change, will you?"

"It's just—it's -" he paused, looking for the right words. "That's a kid. Not even yours at that."

"Fuck you," I shot back, earning some glares from other people in the store. "June is my kid."

"Hazel, she belongs to your sister," he said, his voice cold and stern.

"My sister is dead," I shouted. I saw an old lady do a sign of the cross.

Gabe looked taken back. He never knew the details of what happened. He just upped and left when it all happened. He reached out to touch me and I stepped out of reach. I put up my hands in surrender and walked out of the shop. A moment later, I heard the door open behind me.

"Hazel, please don't walk away," he pleaded.

"Get away from me," I shouted.

"Hazel, please," he said, sounding desperate.

I stopped and whipped around to face him. "I can't be around you. That look of disgust at the mention of June. That's exactly why we would never have worked out," I snapped, anger boiling inside of me. "She is the most amazing child in the world. I feel bad for the people who don't get to know her. I love that child with my whole heart."

"I get that, but why didn't you let your parents take her?"

"Are you fucking insane? My mother did nothing, except gaslight us for our entire childhoods. When she found out Daisy was pregnant, my mother said she'd be better off dead. I would let hell freeze over before I'd let my mother take June."

"I didn't know that," he said slowly, looking at the ground.

"No, you didn't, because as soon as you heard about possible custody of June, you bailed, just like you always do."

"Come on, Hazel. That's not fair. I couldn't give myself to a child. I wasn't ready for that," he said defensively.

"Oh but you were ready to marry me? Is that it? You didn't want children. Ever. I want nothing else from this life but to become a mother. It would never work," I said, explaining it to him exactly how I've explained it to myself for the past four years.

"Hazel, please, this isn't fair. I wanted to have children together, with you. Not your sisters," he reasoned.

"You're a fucking asshole. Get out of my face. I never want to see you again, Gabe," I shouted.

"You don't mean that," he reasoned.

"Oh, I mean every single word. I don't need you. Just like I haven't needed you for the past four years."