MDZS Oneshots ( Request Open)

Am i the problem- Nie Huaisang

Request: / Genre: Anxiety Tw: Suicidal Thoughts, Eating Disorder, Depression and Sh

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Pov: Nie Huaisang

I heard the sayings of the other people from the clans. I didn't even know why I was invited here, even sent. According to the others, I was just a silly thing that doesn't even dare to speak to others unless the fan covers its mouth.

'He's really quite fat'

'Is that a man or a woman'

'Ridiculous'

'Ugly'

Those were just a few things I was allowed to listen to every day. It always takes more.

You're right, I'm pretty plump and I'm not particularly pretty either. I'm also quite small and feminine. And ridiculous, ridiculous am I either way. I always have been.

When it was time for lunch, I sat it as always alone in my place and poked around in my rice. I didn't have an appetite. A little less on the ribs would certainly not hurt me.

When I saw a pair of feet in front of me, I looked up and my blood ran cold in my veins. In front of me stood Zhan Xinbao (Fabulous Character) with his other clan members. As I looked around, I realized that everything had already gone, so now I was alone with Zhan Xinbao.

"Nah, no appetite?" He asked me, pushing my chin up with his two fingers. I tried not to look at him and shook my head. "Look me in the eye when I'm talking to you!" He said harshly and squeezed my chin harder. I immediately looked into his eyes in panic.

He looked at his friends and one of them was holding my bowl of rice. There was the bowl to Zhan Xinbao. He then turned to me. "Open your mouth." He said and held some rice in front of my mouth. I quickly shook my head and looked away.

Looking away was a mistake I felt a sharp pain in my cheek that brought tears to my eyes. One of his friends hit me. "Now open your mouth!" He asked whereupon I only anxiously opened my mouth.

He forced me to eat the whole bowl of rice. I felt guilty. I shouldn't have eaten that. Then he looked me in the eye. "Weak wills as always." He laughed and put a hand on my stomach. "If you keep eating like this you won't fit in your robe anymore, that would be a shame." he laughed and got up.

He dropped the empty bowl that had smashed on the floor and then left.

So I sat  alone in the dining room and the shards of porcelain lay in front of me. Slowly reaching for one that looked sharp, I slowly pulled up my sleeve and looked at my already scarred arm. A few more cuts won't be noticeable, I thought to myself and cut my flesh a few times.

It was good to see the red liquid running down my arm. That's when I came up with the idea of just cutting a little deeper. So deep it's enough to kill me.

My action was interrupted by a voice. "What are you doing there?!" The shocked person asks and came up to me. I couldn't and didn't want to answer. I just started crying silently.

The person took me in his arms and hugged me. "I'm Wei Ying, and you?" This Wei Ying asked. "Nei Huaisang..." I whispered and looked at him.

That was the first time I met Wei Ying.

We're assuming they didn't know each other.