Love & Conditions (New York Billionaires Book 2)

23| Respect

"I thought you'd like it." I sighed, "I asked everybody who could help. Audrey, your Mom, even Alex, for fuck's sake. He didn't really help though. Audrey tagged along when I went to buy it. She said you would hate it, maybe she was right." 

"Then why buy it?" There was such scrutiny in her gaze. 

"Because it was the only ring I could really picture on you." 

She blinked in confusion with a faint hum. 

I pushed my ice cream cup aside and took the ring before holding out my palm. Instead of placing her hand in mine, she narrowed her eyes at me. Ignoring her, I reached for her hand and slipped the ring over her finger, holding onto her hand and slightly brushing the ring with my thumb before tracing her knuckles, each one of them. "It was the only ring I saw that felt like you." 

She continued to stare at the ring while I stared at her. 

"It felt like you, it felt like us. It made me believe we could work. It felt like a promise, Jules." 

Inhaling shakily, she lifted her eyes. "Then why did you break it?" 

Closing my eyes as I felt her hand slip out of my grasp, I let out a soft breath. "I didn't break it, Jules." 

"Christian, I felt you going away. I felt you slipping right through my fingertips. There was nothing I didn't do to get you to finally tell me what was going on. You chose to lie to me." 

"I didn't lie to you." 

"You kept the truth from me. It's not any better." 

"I would have told you." 

"I know because you did tell me. But only because you had no other choice. It felt like I had to corner you to hear the truth I deserved to know. I hated doing that," she chuckled dryly while shaking her head. 

"I'm..." The words got caught up in my throat and the apology couldn't stumble out of me like I hoped it would. I was sorry, I hated myself for hurting her the way I did, but only I knew my reasons, and only I knew that if I hadn't done what I did, she would be in a situation ten times worse and her whole life could have fallen apart at the slightest mistake from me. I couldn't let that happen to her. "It's in the past, Jules," I said instead. 

She offered me a small shrug in return. "Do you want me to just forget everything that happened then?" 

"No. And I don't expect you to simply forgive me either." 

"But you expect me to remember that this time, I came to you, right?" 

"What?" I asked. 

"Isn't that what you want? For me to play right into your hands while you use the excuse that I asked you to do this for me?" 

"No," I said, shaking my head, "no, that's not at all what I expect. I just—" 

"What do you expect then, Christian?" 

"I expect you to let me talk. For starters." I shot her a blank look and she huffed, leaning back in her chair and aggressively taking a big scoop of the ice cream, holding the plastic spoon in her mouth as she glowered at me. My lip twitched as I watched her.