Don't Say You Love Me

Chapter TWENTY FOUR

   "I hear we're friends now," Rex tells me, and it sounds weird. It seems like being friends with me is the last thing he wants to do. But suddenly he smiles and I see a dimple appear on his cheek and I can finally relax.

   "Cohen promised," I say plainly. "Take it up with him."

   "I'm fine with it," Rex tells me, still smiling. "But I don't want any broken hearts in August when I leave for L.A."

   "I'll try to keep from crying too much," I say, but I notice that Cohen is still acting as serious as ever.

   "Hey," I say to him, hoping for something, anything.

   "Hey," he repeats.

   It's awkward and the next minute feels like ten. Rex finally clears his throat and says he has to get home because his mom has been texting him about dinner.

   "You wanna come, Co?"

   Cohen shakes his head. "Not hungry. Catch you later? Come by if you want, we'll be out back."

   Rex looks like he doesn't understand but then finally nods and waves to me. "Bye, Teegan."

   "Bye."

   "I have three boards out and one boat, so hopefully they all come back on time-" I begin, glancing down at the iPad in front of me.

   "Teegan?"

   I look up quickly and our eyes meet, a flash of something in his that I don't recognize. He's clenching his jaw and his lips are parted, just a bit.

   "Yeah?" I ask back.

   "I have to go pick up some stuff. I'm going to get marshmallows... do you like s'mores?" he asks, his expression a bit more normal again.

   "Yeah, of course. Who doesn't?" I answer quickly.

   "Okay. I will be back here at 7P.M. Yeah?"

   I smile, because to me, 7P.M. can't come soon enough. "Yeah."

*

   My heart is pounding because apparently I'm a nervous eighteen year old who's never hung out with a guy before. Of course I have, but all of this with Cohen feels different and new and exciting.

   It's quarter after seven when I lock up the hut and - even though he's not there yet - I got and sit on the bench just a bit closer to the pier. Pulling out my phone to pass some time, I see I have a text from my mom.

   How was closing up tonight? Hopefully things went smooth. I should be home by 9P.M. but if you don't mind putting the kids to bed, that would be great. Thanks, Teeg.

   Oh shit. Oh no. I forgot that I was supposed to pick up the kids from Kelly Turner's after I close down the hut. Like, now. My mom's expecting me to get them and bring them home and get them to bed. But I agreed to hanging out with Cohen. Shit.

   Hey. I'm such an idiot. I forgot I have to pick up my siblings and take them home until my mom gets home. Where are you? I open a new text conversation with Cohen.

   I'm just down the beach a bit, almost there. Shit, okay. It took me longer than I thought at the store.

   I put my phone down in my lap and close my eyes for a second. He's going to think that I am ditching him on purpose. Finally, once I regain my composure, I stand up and start walking.

   I see him, coming towards me, a few minutes later. I'm not sure what I'm going to say to him, but I hope he understands. He has a big smile on his face as he approaches, a bag in his hand.

   "I feel really dumb," I say right away.

   Cohen shakes his head. "No. It's fine. What time is your mom getting home?"

   I swallow hard. "She texted and said she should be home by 9P.M."

   "Oh. Well, that's later than I was thinking, but... you know where I live. You want to come over when she gets home?" he suggests.

   We are just standing there, pretty much behind the rental hut, talking. I sigh and look at my feet, toes in the sand. I know I ruined whatever he was planning for us tonight.

   "Yeah. Are you sure?" I ask him, turning to start walking back.

   "Yeah. I can walk you home, too. I mean, if you want," he says, not missing a beat.

   "I'm going to Luke's, actually," I say, and then shrug. "His mom is watching the kids."

   "Oh. Alright, well, I have to go that way anyway." Awkward.

   "Yeah," I finish.

   We say goodbye and I tell him I'll text him when I'm leaving, in a couple of hours, and then I slip past him to cross the street and walk down to Kelly Turner's. This is a small town. Kelly is my mom's friend, and she watches the kids sometimes. Her son is Luke. Her husband was down at the rental hut today. And if any of them know I'm hanging out with Cohen, they will all know, along with everyone else in Avila Beach.

   I don't know if I really care. My mom found how that her newest employee got into a fight over the weekend, just like that. It's inevitable that things will be said and people will talk. It's the only thing I don't like about this place, now. But hanging out with Cohen isn't the worst thing I could be doing, right? I'm not breaking into stores or doing drugs. I'm just... being a teenager.

   I thank Kelly and grab the kids' hands and we cross over again to go back to their house. Inside, I find out they had pizza for dinner and they aren't hungry, so I give them baths and read them books - again - before tucking them into their beds around 8:30P.M.

   The next thirty minutes pass so slowly. I'm watching the clock in the living room, Tick, tick, tick. Why does time go so slowly when you're waiting for something? It's getting dark outside. It's after 9P.M. when I hear a car outside and then the door opens and closes again. Jumping up, I meet my mom in the front foyer.

   "Hey. Everything good?" she asks right away, putting down her purse. "You didn't answer my text."

   "Sorry. Yes, all good. Kids are asleep," I say quickly. "I'm actually... just going out."

   "Out?" she repeats, like she's more curious than anything.

   "Just a campfire, is that cool?" I ask, even though I don't really have to ask.

   "Of course. Be safe. Get the bug spray," she says and then eyes me again. "Whose house?"

   "A friend," I say, knowing she wants more than that. "See you tomorrow."

   "Alright," she finishes, and I notice she's smiling as I slip past her and out the door.

   Be there in five, I send to Cohen, then put my phone away and reach up to pull out my pony tail.

   Running my fingers through my hair, I get weird fluttery feelings in my stomach. It's just a guy. Just a friend. Rex will probably be there. It's not a big deal. At. All.

   But then my phone buzzes again and I pull it out, flipping it over to read the message.

   Cohen: In the backyard. Come on back when you get here.

   And my heart is pounding again.