A Birdie Lost in Time | Bucky Barnes

|20|

His laughter quietened at that, but he was left watching her with a big smile.

Yes. She was sure she liked his smile.

"Is that not a bad thing?" she asked in confusion.

"Well," he hummed, nodding his head side to side, "it's essentially a way to tell someone to shut up."

"To what?"

"To stop talking."

"That is bad then. I should not be telling people that, I apologize, I—"

"No, no, ptichka, it's alright. You used to say it all the time. It's... it's good to hear you say it again."

"Why is it good to hear me telling you to be quiet?"

"Because you're getting back to your old self," he said gently.

"Oh... So, there are good parts to this as well? Becoming my old self is a good part?"

"Yes. And there are a lot of good parts. You're going to remember your friends and family, your memories, the things you liked to do, the places you liked to go. You're going to remember your life, and that's a good thing."

"Hmm... That is good to know... because I am scared," she said quietly, dropping her gaze to the water.

"If you're scared about something you remember, you can talk to me about it. Steve and Sam too. We're here for you."

"Is it... wrong that I do not want to talk about them? It makes them..." she trailed off, unsure of how to describe it. How to express that if she acknowledged the things in her mind, they might become even scarier.

"Feel more real?" the Soldat offered.

She felt her body deflate and she nodded. "Yes. They would feel more real. It scares me, and I know I should not be scared, because it is over and only in my mind, but I am still scared."

The Soldat was quiet a moment, flesh thumb rubbing over the plates of his left arm. "I'm still scared of the things in my mind too," he said lowly. "I know that the things that made me the Zimniy Soldat are gone, but it still scares me."

"What were the things that made you the Zimniy Soldat? Are you no longer the Zimniy Soldat?"

"No, I'm not. The same way that you're not the Prizrak anymore."

"Am I not? What am I then?"

"Right now, you're ptichka. Soon, I think you'll be Marlow."

That was a strange thing to think about. Changing in that way.

"What are you now?"

He let out a long breath, head turning back to the water. "I'm not entirely sure. I have a few names, but I don't know which one I am."

"That must be confusing."

"Yah..."

Then she had a thought. "Do you want to talk about the things that scare you?"

She felt it was the right thing to say. She wasn't sure why, but since he'd offered it to her, so she thought it was only right to do the same for him.

And the way he smiled, she thought she must be right.

"Not right now. Right now, I want to get you inside because you're going to freeze to death," he said, voice turning pointed.

She wasn't sure what that tone was, but this time, she didn't hold her thought in. "Bite me, Barnes."

He just looked at her, lips cocked into a sideways smile as he sat there a moment. "There she is... charming as ever."