Shivika: Journey Till Our Hearts

||26.The Chasm||

"Okay, Mr. Philosopher. Now finish your food and coffee fast otherwise Mishraji will call once again. I don't want you to be late because of me" She joked and Shivaay also let out a little laugh at that.

Shivaay finished his food and got up when Annika also followed him.

"Will you talk to Om now?" She asked him slowly.

Shivaay turned back and saw Annika look at him fearfully.

"Not for now at least. And don't force me. I hope you understand my reasons"

But Annika didn't reply as her brain had already began running a marathon.

"You understand, don't you?" He asked her once again when he didn't get her response.

"Umm, yes. Yes, I do" She gulped and said.

"Thank you. I will get going now. I have a meeting"

"Okay" She replied and followed him to the living room where he was now wearing his shoes.

"Hey, aren't you going to office?" He asked.

"No, actually, I thought to rest today. I can manage my work from home as well"

"Oh good. You actually do need rest
I will also try to come early"

"Okay. I will prepare the food for you. Take care" She wished him.

He smiled at her and left the house.

Annika then continued with her daily chores. All the while, the scenarios from yesterday were playing in her mind. For the first time, she couldn't understand on how to handle the situation

On the other hand, Shivaay came back to his cabin exhausted after two consecutive energy draining meetings. His eyebrows scrunched further seeing the person present in the room.

"What are you doing here?" Shivaay asked exasperatedly as he scratched his temple.

The person turned back and his face depicted an apologetic look.

"I am really sorry Shivaay. I understand all of your anger, disappointment and hurt but ek baar meri baat sun le. Please"

"I don't want to listen anything Omkara. Whatever happened was enough to explain everything to me. So, please go from here as I am really busy"

Om remain unfazed by this statement of Shivaay and moved forward to hold his hand. But Shivaay quickly jerked his hands back and put them in his pocket.

Om's heart broke but he still continued. "Shivaay, I know I am reason for your condition but believe me, I hid things from you because I didn't want to trouble you more. You already had a lot going on your plate and I didn't want to add more to it"

"All for one, one for all. Are these mere words for you?" Shivaay asked Om after a few awkward moments of silence. He had walked over towards the windows of his spacious cabin with his back now facing Om.

Om was very shocked at his question. Never ever he thought that Shivaay would ask him such a thing.

"Shivaay, you know how important you are to me. Even more than Rudra and I can never bear any problem befalling you. And I will always stand by you by upholding our mantra of 'All for one, one for all'. Don't do this please. I am very bad already"

"And what about all of us. What about the pain our elders especially, Badi ma and bade papa had to go through? What about the fear I saw in Annika and Rudra's eyes? What about the despair Dadi went through? And what about the myriad of emotions I went through seeing you break like this. Even after you promising me that you would never leave me alone, you had made full plans yesterday to destroy yourself. So, don't even try to explain anything to me. More than the physical wounds, your actions have hurt me more. It hurt here" Shivaay turned back and pointed at his heart. His tone was still monotonous but Om could understand the hurt and fear in his voice.

"I understand. But Shivaay.... "

"You have gone through a lot Omkara. And you are stressing your mind more. I don't think that is correct for you. So, if you really want to do something for me, go back home and rest. I don't want to argue. I will take care of Riddhima and. now, she won't trouble you more" Shivaay said in an ordering tone and Om had to listen.

Shivaay again turned his back but suddenly felt heavy and knew that Om had backhugged him.

"I can't survive without you Shivaay. You ignoring me hurts but I know that it is my punishment. I won't be able to take this chasm between us for a long time. Please please, don't hate me. I am going through your ignorance with much difficulty and if you hate me also, I won't be able to breathe. Please" Om whispered in Shivaay's ears and hurriedly left the cabin without waiting for Shivaay's response.

As soon as Shivaay heard the door close, he went and crashed on the chair. Yesterday's, sleeplessness and tiredness was catching up to him.

"I don't even know if I am doing the correct thing or not? But I reacted in my raw fear of losing Om. I can't live without him as well. He has to realize that how important he is to me. I know that he is very weak emotionally but I have been trying to make him strong by supporting him, making him to go to therapy and making him believe in himself. And yet, I feel like a failure as a brother when he tries to harm himself like this"

Shivaay's phone suddenly rang and he picked it up absentmindedly.

"Sorry bhaiya, I tried a lot to not let O meet you but he was really scared and impatient. I finally had to agree to let him meet you. I offered him to drop him there but he insisted on going alone. I just hope he comes back soon" Rudra blabbered.

"He will come home soon Rudra. Take care of him and keep me updated. Give him proper food and on no account should he left alone. Understand?" Shivaay instructed without paying attention to Rudra's blabbers.

"Okay" Rudra said and cut the call sensing Shivaay's tone.

Shivaay laid his head back on the chair after questioning himself some more.