Shivika: Journey Till Our Hearts

||26.The Chasm||

"Annika, whatever happened yesterday came as a huge shock for me. I had a gut feeling that something was wrong with Om but I didn't prod him further. Shayad mein aisa karta toh baat kal tak aati hi nahi. That day when your company was inaugurated, I had noticed something amiss with him and I had asked him as well. He lied to me. He lied. He has never done that" Shivaay was almost breaking down but before he could completely shatter, he controlled himself.

Annika was minutely observing him and saw him carefully masking his emotions.

"Shivaay, he was in a soup. Maybe we can try understanding his point of view as well" Annika spoke after a lot of contemplation.

"Annika, raat bhar wohi karne ki koshish ki meine. I didn't need to wait till morning to know about the reason. I knew it was something big. But my problem was Om's attitude in the midst of all this. You know, the moment I saw the open bottle of sleeping pills under his bed, my heart stopped beating for a moment. It was by luck that he didn't have them. And I don't know why he couldn't even tell me. I know that he has his own way of coping up with things but this is the one thing I have told him to never hide from me. He knows how scared I get, he knows that the situation is handled only when I come and yet he doesn't even consider me. I can understand when it was years ago but over the time also, he has been like this. That is why I needed to make a spare key to his room"

Annika slowly inched her hand towards his which was kept on the table. She held his hand and he didn't take it back. Her warm hands were acting as a soother for him. She didn't talk but he knew she was providing him a safe space for him to open up.

"And about yesterday" He continued "He was suffering since almost two months Annika. I didn't even know. He really loved Riddhima and the way she mercilessly broke his heart was too much for him to handle. And since he didn't tell anyone, he was torturing himself more. I was really scared yesterday. Kuch bhi ho sakta tha. I know I should have acted like that but he needs to know that he can't do this everytime. He has to try to cope. Mujhe nahi toh doctor ko batana chahiye tha, family mein se kisi aur ko bhi bata sakta tha, which he didn't do. He does not consider the immense repercussions his actions will have on the people around him who really love him" Shivaay finished and Annika saw a wave of determination pass through his eyes.

"But Shivaay, he isn't in a good headspace right now. He is emotionally and physically weak" Annika asked, recollecting Om's broken self.

"I have seen him in worse situations like these Annika. I know what I am doing. This time, he can be in a position where he can understand what I mean and build himself up. Because that is the only way for him to be strong later in life. I understood yesterday ki har baar mein nahi rahunga. He cannot depend on me to calm him down and handle him everytime he gets such attacks. I don't mean that I am letting him go completely. I can't do that. I love him a lot and that is why get so fearful about him. He not going to therapy worsened the situation yesterday and I don't want that to happen again. So, I have to be firm and strict in front of him"

"Ohh, I understand your reasons. And I don't object to them. I am sorry ki meine aapko itna force kiya" Annika apologized.

"That isn't the only reason" Annika looked at him confused and he continued, "I personally am very hurt and angry at him. He didn't share with me about Riddhima, he didn't tell me that bade papa asked him to join business. I know he knew which we wouldn't have known"

"You are talking about not sharing problems?" Annika asked him with a smirk and raised eyebrow. Shivaay looked at her sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck.

"Yes, but those are life threating situations and I am well capable in handling those wheras Om isn't. Mein dimaag se sochta hu Annika and that is why it is easy to tackle difficult situations. Om dil se sochta hai and that is why he gets emotional at the drop of a hat"