The Journal Of Effy

Chapter 4

04/03/15

Dear Journal....?

The last few days have been... Painful... Sorry that I haven't written in a couple days, but a lot of bad has happened. It all started when I was at the park with kyle on the 31st of March, we ended up bumping into and talking to a boy our age named Parker. Parker was a little unusual, he had black, curly hair that needed to be washed, brown eyes, that looked crossed and odd, a blue sweater that said Jeffrey 101 in big, bold, black writing by his left shoulder, grey sweatpants that cut off at his ankles and no shoes... Kyle and him struck up a conversation about beer, but the whole time they were talking.... Parker never took his eyes off of me. The few times that our eyes met, the scary gleam in his sent shivers up my spine and made me feel like putting on some sweats and hiding my body. When the conversation was over and the two of us began walking back to my house, Kyle brought it to my attention that he noticed that Parker had been ogling me the whole time that they were talking, and how he did NOT like it, this knowledge made my insides smile when I noticed that he cared enough to acknowledge Parkers out of line stare. A few times when he we were walking back to my house, I got this weird feeling in my gut.... It felt as if someone was watching me... It creeped me out....

When we had reached my house, Kyle looked as if he wanted to come in, I so terribly wanted to let him.... But I didn't him to see what my house looked like on the inside, because then he'd ask questions and it would be hard to deny him answers.... (If I would've let him in, maybe none of these next events would've happened...) I had my door locked and was in the middle of putting my pajamas on when I heard noise coming from downstairs, it sounded like someone had just come into the house and shut the door semi loudly. The only thought in my head was that it might be my parents, and even though I didn't really care... My curiosity took over. I finished putting on my yellow crop top that said SuNsHiNe on the back of it and my dark and light pink striped pajama pants, before heading down the stairs to see if my imagination was playing tricks on me, or if someone was actually in my house. Being the stupid teenager I am I didn't take anything with me to protect myself, I just went unarmed into what would later be a trap. Creeping down the stairs, I turned to face the door, only to see Parker standing with his legs spread apart and holding a blue, black and purple striped, metal baseball bat in his right hand, and a smirk plastered on his face, one that sent terrible chills up my spinal cord.

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I didn't know that he had followed me home earlier when Kyle walked with me, all that time when I felt like someone was watching me.... It wasn't just my imagination tripping me out, someone had actually been watching me... Parker had actually been watching me, following me, I should've told Kyle how I was feeling and maybe it would've changed things, probably not, but maybe....

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I don't know why, but he began nodding his head, "Effy..." His voice was in a hushed, dark whisper, it sounded as if it held a warning telling me not to move, he repeated my name over and over again, each time taking a small step closer towards me. I was in shock unable to move until he was a short 4 feet away from me, snapping back to reality, I ran for my room, tripping on the staircase, causing me to bear crawl the rest of the way. Once in my room, I locked my door and ran to the far wall of my room, "Effy..." He began saying my name again in the same darkly hushed whisper, and this time it placed goosebumps on my arms and caused a slow tear to trickle down my face. It went quiet for a while and I began to think that he left when I sniffed and within second his body was harshly banging against the door of my bedroom. When his body first hit the door, it made a loud banging noise and a scream uncontrollably shot from my lungs, causing him to loudly laugh as if he was watching a cat juggle a mouse. He kept laughing as he repeatedly smashed his body against the door until the first of the three (located closest to the roof) hinges broke, giving him entrance into my room. I wanted to run, but my body wouldn't move, making me feel like I was in a dream that I couldn't escape. Parker stood in the doorway of my room, looking at me for several seconds and then he began taking long strides towards me, he held the handle of the bat in his right hand and gently hit the top of it in his left palm. I couldn't understand why he would be doing this to me, what did I do to him? Why would he want to harm and scare me? Before I could finish my thoughts, the baseball bat flew through the air and hit me forcefully on the head, it felt like he had used the strength that was needed to move a house. My body hit the ground and he hit me again, but this time with even more force. I began to feel dizzy and my stomach felt like two-million butterflied had just emerged from a field and were wildly flying throughout it. "Stop" I managed to choke out in a pleading voice, he kept hitting me, but he had then upped the strength ten times against my head and the last thing I remember was his voice yelling at me "IF YOU EVER... EVER TOUCH MY BOY JAKE AGAIN.... YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE THE NEXT VISIT I PAY YOU!!" and the big, black bold writing of Jeffrey 101 on his left shoulder. Then... I drifted off into the sad, lonely, quietly deafening abyss.

When I woke up late at night on April 2nd (last night), I looked over to see Kyle sitting beside me sleeping, clutching my hand in his sleep. I didn't know where I was, I was worried that Parker might be around so I quickly sat up, this movement of mine cause Kyle to immediately awake, "oh my god!" he said excitedly, "you're alive... The nurses didn't know if you would ever wake up!" In my head I was still confused... "Nurse, what? Where am I?" I asked terrified. "Right," he paused, his eyes filled with sadness as he began remembering the event that had been the reasoning for my whereabouts at that moment, "you're in the hospital...." He closed his eyes as if were searching for the proper words of explanation, "you got brutally beaten, I don't know exactly what happened, but it caused traumatic stress to your brain and head. You hadn't showed up at school for two days and I started to worry about you, so I came to your house and when you didn't answer the door the 7th time I had knocked, I got a knowing feeling in my gut, and I knew something was wrong... I intruded into your house and searched for you.... And before you say anything, I wont ask and whatever the reason.... I'm sorry, I'm also sorry I went into your house without permission." He paused waiting for a response but I just sat there looking at him, wanting to hug him for understanding, but I didn't. "Anyway, when I went up the stairs I saw that your door was unhinged and I went running in.... When I saw you laying on the floor... Your body was limp, you were covered in blood, your head and face were bruised... It shattered my fucking heart. I called the police and the ambulance and until they got there I just sat on the floor cradling you in my arms, crying..." He drifted off looking at his hands as if he was experiencing it all over again, I grabbed his hand looked into his eyes and told him "Thank you. But I'm here now, and I'll be as safe as long as I'm with you" In the most meaningful voice, because I did mean it, I really meant it. I zoned out, going over all that Kyle had told me and blocking out the pain.. Curiosity filled his face and eyes and I knew that he wanted to ask who had done this to me... But I also knew that he didn't want to overstep his boundaries, so I just told him "It was Parker" and with that, I layed back down and fell asleep.

Today I woke up to find Kyle, still sitting up watching me. My body was in such terrible, excruciating pain, that I didn't want to move, so I just layed there. I looked over to him to see my journal, sitting in his lap, once he realized that I was staring at it, he shifted his gaze, from me, to the journal. I don't know why but my face filled with fear, "did you...?" I trailed off, unable to finish my question because of the fear racing through my body. His gaze quickly shifted to my fear filled face and he rapidly shook his head, not taking his eyes off of my face, my whole body filled with relief. He handed the journal to me along with a pen and then let go of my hand, giving me the ability to write, so I slowly sat up, opened the journal, and began to write about everything that had happened... So there you go, that's why I haven't written in a while and.... to tell you one last thing before my poem, I am so happy that Kyle actually cares, and for once in my life I'm looking forward, excited for what might become of me and Kyle, instead of dwelling on the past and wishing for my life to end. I finally have something.... Someone good, and I have a feeling, that this one time, it's not temporary. The poem that I wrote today, is about excruciating pain, which is exactly what I witnessed when I was being beaten, and the after effects of it, I call it excruciating pain...

Excruciating Pain

After excruciating pain its hard to regain the feeling of being sain. The cries loud, the memories vivid, my feelings not wanting to be livid. The cuts burning, my mind learning not to trust, my pain turning my thoughts into dust.

~Effy