Missing From Me

27| red, red wine

Amaltheia's POV

I mean I've known it. I just hadn't acknowledged it. Until now. There is a difference. Knowing something is being familiar with it, but acknowledging something is truly thinking it through.

I blink out of my thoughts and meet Noor's sharp gaze. Her eyes narrow and she lifts an eyebrow in question.

"What?"

Her glare deepens. "Something is on your mind."

I rest my chin on interlaced hands and smile, "I have a lot of thoughts."

"Give it to me," she demands.

I feign a gasp, "Noor, we're in public."

Annoyance spreads across her features and she tsks, "Amaltheia."

"I like your eyebrows," I tell her while waggling my own.

"I haven't gotten them done in like three weeks," she deadpan, sending me a flat look.

"They still look good..."

"They look like jungles, Amal. Now, can we please get back on topic?"

I sigh. "I'm just messing with you. I...I've had an acknowledgement of sorts."

"And that is?"

She waits for my answer eagerly and I let go of the breath I'm holding. I'll tell her. "I like Julien."

Noor stares at my face and then slumps in her seat. "Oh."

"What?" I gape at her.

"I thought this was leading somewhere spicier. Nevermind."

I roll my eyes. "This is as spicy as it's going to get. Deal with it."

"Fine. Well...expand on this acknowledgement."

I take a sip of my chai tea latte, loving the sweet taste of the drink. Bursts of cinnamon and spices warm my tongue. "There's nothing to expand. I like him. That's it."

"Okay, we been knew, Amal. Dig deeper," she commands. "You love analysis, don't you?"

I snort. "For literature, yes. For me? No."

"When you say you like him, do you just mean that you're attracted to him?" Noor asks.

My eyebrows draw together. "Well yeah. I've been attracted to him since I met him."

"Then why do you say you like him now? What's changed?"

I'm about to argue against her point when I realize she's right. My shoulders deflate. "I've gotten to know more about him. That's what has changed."

"And you like these things you've learned about him?"

"Some things I admire and some I don't."

Noor breaks a piece off her danish and plops it into her mouth. "So would you say you like him romantically?"

Her question is easy to answer. "Besides physical attraction, no."

"Why not," she frowns.

"Because a true relationship between me and Julien would never happen. He's not the type."

An image begins to form in my head. Julien and I holding hands. Watching movies together in his apartment and laying in each other's arms.

It looks natural and easy to envision. I can see moments of every warm and cool colour with Julien. It throws me off for a moment.

"And I don't want it," I tell her. Just because I could see it did not mean I wanted it. Julien and I wouldn't work out.

He would definitely be fun. But Julien, in my head, is still a mystery. A closed book; one I can't exactly pry open. This book has teeth.