Rose Ezowe always found it easier to run away from her problems than facing them. Having learned the lesson of people will always disappoint and disappear, she starts the doing disappointing and disappearing.
Elliot Rosten has always been quiet and...
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Our Earth has exactly one moon by its side. One moon that orbits itself. One moon that rises in the east and sets in the west, every day for 4.51 billion years.
Everyone seems to have someone or something that stays with them. Someone or something that makes life bearable, even by a bit. So where's mine?
Every day for 6205 days, I've asked myself, "Is today a good day to die?" Though it seems like today is never a "good day"-so when is the day going to happen?
I'm currently in front of the class wishing this ceiling would fall on top of me and eat me alive. I hate being in the spotlight, having everyone's eyes on you and you alone.
Everyone's eyes are on you... I feel like such a mess. No one likes messes.Not even you.
"Umm, Rose? Are you there?" I see two dull emerald green eyes staring straight at me.
Staring. Straight. At. Me. I wanted to run. To hide. To be anywhere but there, but I couldn't move. Not an inch.
"Yes?" Is all I managed to get out. I felt paralyzed, frozen in fear. I felt as if they would all notice me if I moved, if I breathed.
She looked at me before taking a long sigh and saying, "It's okay, Rose, you can send me your slides, and I'll grade them that way. Elliot your up next." I liked how understanding Mrs. Faye was. Not everyone understood me.
Or they would try to understand, but they really didn't. They'd make excuses and try to help, but they all just made everything worse. It's okay not to understand someone else; what's not okay is bothering them.
I walked towards my desk; it was in the second row, in the middle row. I tried focusing on my steps. Left Right Left Right Tried focusing on the patterns on the floor, but all I could focus on was the muttering. No matter how quiet they were, all I heard was their gossiping as if they had a clue about me.
"Did you hear about her dad?" "I heard her dad slept with his coworker and got up and left." "Poor Rose. No one ever stays"
Run. Hide. No. No, it's fine. I'm fine.
I act like I can't hear them. But I do. I act as if I'm not really there. But I am. I feel like I'm drowning, their stares watching my every step, every breath. Everything.
Taking my seat, I finally look up. Elliot Rosten. My long-lost childhood friend. No. He chose to leave. He chose to leave me behind. Like everyone else in my life his no different from anyone else.
Elliot has always been more outgoing than me. More popular, better, smarter. He did everything perfectly even when he doesn't try to. I envy him. He stood in front of the class, taking everyone's attention away from me. He had all their attention. He had mine. He has the prettiest hazel green eyes, brown hair with a sharp and strong jawline.
He's beautiful He's awful. Every inch of him is sickening; he'll take and take and take from you, and when you have nothing left to give him. He leaves. He disappears. Just like everyone else. Just like me... hypocrite.
The class is quiet; no one makes a single sound. In a way, it's worse than before. Can they hear my thoughts? God, I just want to disappear in the universe and never come back.
"Thank you, Elliot, for that presentation." I watched as he passed his group of friends, giving me his usual scowl. I wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug look on his face. Don't give him the pleasure of showing your annoyance.
This class may have the most bearable teacher in the building, but it has the most unbearable students in my class. Gettingup too leave, a hand pulled me back.
"Rose, right? Or was it Rory?" I knew that voice. No, no, no. I turned to see one of Elliot's friends; unlike Elliot, he was the total opposite. He had dark blue eyes with dark black hair to match. I want to punch the bullshit out of him. 1 2 3 Knowing that all of them were scumbags, I wanted to keep this short and simple. I wanted to leave. Now.
"What do you want, Finn? Make this fast; I have things to do." I remarked Why can't people just leave me alone. What on my face screams "talk to me?" Let me tell you. Nothing.
"Oh, she talks shocking. Tell you what, if you give me your number, I'll leave you alone." He smirks, thinking I'll actually do that, as I'll fall for that bullshit. It's fine, don't overreact, and everything will be okay. You're okay.
"Go suck a dick. Don't you have more important things to do." So much for not overreacting. Fuck. If only I had my confidence right now when I'm in front of the class or anywhere near people in general. I watched as his smudged look became a more upsetting frown. Did he really think I would give him my number? Him.
I'm not stupid about how dudes act. One moment you're giving them your number, the next day you're apparently a slut for sleeping with them... when you didn't even kiss them.
I got my bag and headed for the door only for Finn and his crew to block the exit. Breath Rose Breath.
"Get out of my way, you asshole." Note to self: learn to hold one's tongue. I just help but to talk back when it comes to Elliot and his friends. Maybe I'm the asshole, honestly, but do I care? No.
"Leave her alone; she's not worth your time. Trust me. Our little book nerd here is too busy dwelling on her father. What happened to him again?" That little motherfucker. 1 2 3 Screw it. "You're one to talk. Did you forget what happened to your father? Or should I remind you?" I smirk. I could indeed be the "bigger person" and leave, but what's the fun in that? I watched as his smug look was replaced by horror. I don't know why, but a part of me felt bad. Pity? Whatever. Elliot Rosten needs his ego to be deflated, and lucky him, I exist.
"Watch your fucken tongue, love. It'll get you in big trouble in the future." Love, did he just call me love? A wave of unwanted emotions filled me. No, Elliot was bad news. Remember, he takes and takes and leaves. I watched as he and his friends left, leaving me alone.
