at long last, peace (medtech series #1)

thirty three

"Isa... Isabel. Estelita Isabel, can you hear me?" Tears fell down my eyes when I heard her weakened voice. 

I have been trying to stay strong.

I don't know what to do anymore.

What if we both die here without seeing our parents?

"Are you scared? Don't be, I'm here."

"I don't... I don't want to die here, Isa."

I shook my head and held her hand, our hands still tied behind our backs. 

"Are you sleepy?"

She nodded.

"Sleep first," I whispered, trying to stop my sobs from escaping my mouth as I look at her bloodied face. "We'll escape... we'll escape."

Mabilis akong napabangon nang magising ako at napasandal na lang sa headboard ng kama. Hindi ko mapigilang mapatakip ng mukha nang sunod-sunod na lumabas 'yung luha mula sa mga mata ko hanggang sa hindi ko na mapigil mapahagulgol. 

Ang sakit sa dibdib.

Ang sakit-sakit sa dibib.

Nakakainis naman.

Ang saya-saya ko naman kahapon... pero bakit laging binabawi?

Parang wala akong karapatang sumaya...

My body was slowly dropping down the bed as I kept on crying. Hindi ko alam kung pa'no itigil... ni hindi ko alam kung ano ba'ng dapat ko talagang gawin kasi hindi ko rin alam kung sa'n ba dapat ako maghanap.

I was starting to get even more scared...

"Who... who even are you," I whispered, clutching my chest as I slowly curl myself in bed trying to muffle the sobs escaping from my mouth. I could even barely reach for my medicines to calm me down so I didn't even attempt to take them anymore. 

I was just... there. Crying in grief for someone I don't even remember.

My chest felt so heavy that all I could was hit my chest. I wanted to think of the better days... of the happiest moments that I've had the past few days.

Pero parang wala... 

Para akong naghahanap ng wala.

I laid my head back and stared at the ceiling the moment my eyes felt dry. Small sobs still escape my mouth but I was feeling a little bit relieved after all the crying, but I felt so weak.

I sighed.

Napatingin ako sa alarm clock ko nang biglang mag-alarm kaya pinilit ko na lang bumangon but I was shaking so much that I accidentally dropped a glass from my bedside table. I winced in pain when I tried to pick up the shards pero na-out balance ako kaya 'yung isa tumusok sa kamay ko. I sit down on the bed and try to remove small shards of glass from the wound--my hand was bleeding uncontrollably from one large shard that pierced through. 

I couldn't remove it on my own kaya tumawag na'ko ng tulong dahil sobra 'yung bleeding. Hindi ko na alam kung sino ba 'yung natawagan ko pero natataranta na rin ako dahil sa dugo. Hindi ko na rin inintindi 'yung sinabi nila... Nakatitig lang ako sa kamay ko habang sinusubukang isipin kung sa'n ba galing 'yung panaginip ko... 

Pero hindi ko pa rin mahanap 'yung sagot.

Hanggang sa unti-unti na lang magdilim 'yung paningin ko.

**

"Your patient's stable, doc. She just needed stitches from the wound but she wasn't injured that much. I guess she passed out due to a panic attack." 

"Thank you."