Picnic Under The Starry Night Sky

Pills Under The Stars

"You know what we should do when I get out of here? Have a picnic. I love picnics, maybe someday, in the future, we'd get a chance to have a picnic together under the starry night sky."

.

.

.

We talked about having the perfect picnic before her second suicide attempt.

When I couldn't save her.

.
.
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Her name was Alex.
We met through wattpad and talked for hours on here. Laughing and crying together... she was so sweet and caring. Yet so broken.

I wished I was more of a help than I could have been when it came to her family.

They were abusive and hurt her.

She wasn't getting the proper care yet she was my age. A minor.

Then she texted me one night saying goodbye.

"I can't do this anymore."
She texted.

"What do you mean?"
I asked in response.

Then asked where she was.

Now shit was about to go down.
Alex was on a rooftop, with a knife or a sharp rock... I'm not sure at this point but she had harmed herself from head to toe. Had explained to me that she was bleeding severely and was also having a panic attack.

I panicked as well, and had an anxiety attack, holding back tears while I called my best friend who talked me through it.

I texted Alex from 10.30 pm to 12.25 am that night.

She was so upset and sick of being alive. I could tell.

Ironically, I had planned my own suicide over a month ago at the time and hadn't gone through with it.
I'm writing this so-

She was standing on the edge, I managed to talk her into stepping away; more than a few times.

An hour and a half.

"I just- I can't do this, please..-"
she said and suddenly I couldn't breathe again.

The desperation was right there. She had no hope left. If I could've been by her side, I would've held onto her for dear life.

I would've treated her wounds and kept her in a warm hug but I couldn't.

Instead...

I was stuck in my bedroom, pacing back and forth, while I tried my best to change my friend's mind.

Another half hour with gaps passed and I finally managed to convince her to call someone.

Friends, relatives, the authorities... anyone whom she trusted.

The next 20 minutes were hell because Alex kept on hurting herself. At least that what she had told me.