Jay Halstead: Trying to Hang on (Oneshots)

Yelling

Trigger Warning: Flashback, War, intense emotion, death of a young child, loud outburst of anger. Do not read if triggering.

Jay was having a bad day, like a really.....really.....really bad day. But, this was starting to feel like the new normal. Hailey was trying to cheer him up but nothing was working. Mouse couldn't help either. The team didn't really know why Jay was in such a bad mood recently, to be honest, they were all starting to get really worried. They knew Jay kept his emotions locked up and rarely asked for help. Voight was worried it would start to affect the quality of work in his unit. That was what pushed the team to talk to Jay. They needed to help him.

" Listen, I know you all worked with him for a while, but I think I might know what's going on. I need to be the one to talk to him. " Mouse said.

The team was standing around the bullpen when Jay went out to grab everyone lunch. They decided to talk about what was going on then, since it seemed like the best time. 

" Then what's going on with him?" Hank asked Mouse.

Mouse was hesitant to talk about the reason Jay was in such a bad mood lately. It was personal. Hank sensed this.

" Listen I know it's probably private but we need to know that when we go into a shoot out, our team member has our backs, and is on top of his game. We can't do that if we don't know what's going on. We only want to help him Mouse." Hank said.

Mouse nodded his head.

" I know. Listen, I'll tell you all because you brought up some good points, and I know Jay trusts you all. Please don't ever bring it up unless he does, and do not tell him I told you. " Mouse firmly instructed. 

The team stood ready to hear everything, understanding the importance of what they were about to hear.

" So you all know that Jay and I served together, right?" Mouse asked.

The team all nodded yes.

" Well, in our second tour, we were in a little village in Afganistan. We were there because we got intel that one of the Taliban's power holders was there to make a massive weapons deal. Jay was waiting in position, he had to get in a position to make a clean shot from about 400 yards away. He was one of the best snipers in our unit, hell in the military. " Mouse paused taking a deep breath.

" He....uh.... well, we... Jay was in position, by some miracle, the target literally walked into Jay's line of sight. He had the shot, clear as day. I could see and hear everything through the helmet cam and wire everyone on the unit had to wear. Jay asked for the go ahead to take the shot, he got the all clear. So, he fired...one round.... into the heart of one of the largest leaders in the Taliban. One shot was all it took." Mouse looked at everyone.

" What we didn't know was that there was a 8 year old little girl, playing in the sand behind the house. The house was in the middle of a sandy area where the local kids played soccer in. "

The team all looked at each other, knowing where this was going, nowhere good.

" The ONE damn bullet Jay fired went through the target, through the window and into the heart of the little girl. She was dead before she hit the ground. Jay never forgave himself for that. After that, he left the army. I think that was major reason his PTSD was so bad when he got home. He used to call me, maybe three times a week at 3am freaking out and crying on the phone because he couldn't get her out of his head. He went to therapy but I think he still blames himself for what happened. When we did the walkthrough before we set up there was no one seen and there was absolutely no way he could've known she was there. Last month was the 5th anniversary of her death. It's always been a really hard time for him."