Redemption

Lenna POV. 3

        "I'm never drinking ever again," I said after I slammed the palm of my hand in my forehead instantly.

     Sarah laughs at my reaction and shakes her head. "It's been two years since the last time you got this drunk and threw up in front of everyone. It had to be done again."

      "Ugh— don't remind me."
     The first time I drank pretty heavily, irresponsibly, and stupidly was when college started. I had to learn my limit with pure vodka straight from the bottle and when to actually stop. A few flashbacks and videos from the night before gave me the perfect trauma to never do that again. Of course, I never wanted to drink again. At least those were the thoughts the next day, but hey, here I was completely embarrassed for getting out of hand with the alcohol I consumed.

       The worst thing was that after I made that huge mistake everyone thought it was going to happen again. Of course, who would have thought that now I have better alcohol resistance than most of my friends? Not me.

      So drinking pretty heavily last weekend was what made everyone look at me so shocked. There must have been a reason, and that one is for being so fooled to fall in love with the only man who looked perfect, made me so physically and sexually attracted to him, and who was smart and strong enough to be in the world of business just like I wanted to.

   We shared the same passion for business. We shared a similar vision. And that made me feel attracted to his mind. He was the perfect man that every woman wishes to be with. The perfect man that every mature woman would be smart enough to get herself involved with.

    But then again perfect seemed too surreal. Too unrealistic because behind that man with a black suit, lies a young lonely boy who grew within big walls covered with expensive portraits and wide halls that reminded him of the lonesome and rich privilege of his life.

   Behind that cold face and bitter attitude, there used to lie a scared kid who only wanted to be loved.

     As a kid, he never cared or fully comprehend the value of money. Never understood the importance of his parent's jobs or the way they should have taught him about personal values or guided him toward finding a true sense of himself. As a kid, he never knew that everything he saw, heard, or felt could determine his adulthood. That's why the love he saw from afar from other people was the only one he believed existed.

      Maybe that's why it's hard for him to love me. Maybe that's why I'm trying to come up with reasons because I'm not trying to convince him but myself that I can teach him how to love me. But then again, I contradict what's wrong and what's right.

     It's not my responsibility to fix him. But my curiosity, my intense love for him blinds me to what is right.

     "By the way, how did I end up in your bed?" I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear meanwhile, we walk towards the main library.

      "Umm, that's a great question." Sarah smiles and looks around, making sure that that person is not near us. "His name is Adam—"

     "Oh God." I immediately stop walking and close my eyes. His name sounded familiar and that's because he was one of the guys I was flirting with. Couldn't remember how he looked or what we talked about, and not recalling anything uneases me.
     "Did I try kissing him or anything?"
    I look at her worriedly but she just laughs and shrugs.

     "No idea but we both know how flirty you get when you drink. So—maybe you did or maybe you didn't." She takes a sip from her cold coffee drink and smiles again. "But whatever you did or said, he couldn't care less if you embarrassed yourself in front of him, he was very respectful and nice when carrying you back home." She quirks her eyebrow teasing me. "I was walking behind you both, keeping an eye on you meanwhile, you talked about Luke."