epiphany - lydia martin [book 1]

chapter thirty-two. break up

I pulled into the driveway of Lydia's house, sighing as I put my car in park. Neither of us said anything the whole way here. I didn't wanna have to explain the weird ass night we just had and she probably just didn't know where to start. "Are - Are you okay?" I asked nervously, awkwardly looking at the girl who sat in the passenger seat.

Lydia shook her head, "I don't know." I couldn't read her emotion. I couldn't tell whether she was angry or scared or confused.

I sighed, swallowing, "I need you to promise that you won't say anything to anybody about what just happened."

My girlfriend scoffed, "I'll promise not to say anything about what just happened if you can tell me what the hell just happened."

"It's - it's kind of complicated. Actually, it's really complicated."

"Well, how 'bout you start with... why was Derek there? Or where Jackson went, or what is wrong with Erica?" She questioned. I pursed my lips as I looked at her, trying to figure out where to start. "Oh, do you need a minute to come up with a plausible lie?"

I shook my head, "No, I just - that was a lot of questions." I answered, running my hand over my face nervously. I could feel my hands getting sweaty as I realized she really was awaiting an answer. "Part of the reason why I'm asking is because Scott and Allison aren't supposed to be seeing each other, okay?"

"Devin, I don't care about Scott and Allison, I wanna know what the hell just happened." She repeated. "What is going on?"

I felt my breathing get ragged as my eyes started to water. I didn't want to tell her. She already seemed so freaked out by everything, she wasn't going to think any different of me. I knew how this would end. It felt like I was just delaying the inevitable. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. Lydia sighed in frustration as I choked up. "I... I can't tell you."

"I know you've been lying to me. I don't know what's going on with you but I don't feel like I can trust you." I looked down as she spoke, feeling my tears start to sting at my eyes. I saw her eyes well up, her orbs glossy. "If you don't tell me what's going on right now, I'm gonna leave. And we're done."

I looked at her in surprise as she awaited a response, feeling that thick ass ball form in the back of my throat. "Okay wait - I - Lydia, sweetheart, please just - just wait, I - It's just hard to explain." I felt like my world was crashing down. My head was spinning and my face was hot and my hands were clammy and my heart was racing. And so was hers. I couldn't do this. I couldn't tell her. Not under this kind of pressure and uncertainty.

The girl shook her head as she scoffed, putting her hand on the door handle. "Bye, Devin." She mumbled before she opened my car door and left, leaving me sitting in her driveway.

>

I had laid in bed all day. I had gotten a million missed messages from Scott, Stiles, and Allison, but I couldn't be bothered. I knew it was selfish to lay in bed all day when people could be dying but I wouldn't be of any help if I was out there. I'd probably get my ass kicked because I was too sad to do anything, let alone to fight anyone.

I blew my nose in a tissue before throwing it on my nightstand along with the others. I couldn't even be mad. I mean, everything Lydia felt was right. I was a dirty liar. I was keeping this big secret about myself and about my entire life. This was a big part of it now. All of my time occupied trying to stop a supernatural creature from killing innocent people. I knew my grades were slipping. I wasn't failing but they weren't as good as they used to be.

I heard a knock on my door sound, not having the energy to answer it. But of course, Scott's big head opened it anyway. "What do you want?" I asked lowly.