INSOMNIA! female soloist

𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇𝒇. (vent)

   aurelia was sitting at her dining room table in her apartment, drinking coffee and trying to forget her problems for once in her life.

   things were beginning to turn to shit again and this time it was all. her. fault.

   aurelia worked and worked and worked and pushed everyone away and at the end of the day she was too exhausted to say a word to anyone else. so naturally, her loved ones checked up on her and talked with her less often. but what hurt most is when she started distancing herself from yujin.

   yujin was always the first person to come talk to aurie when she was sad. she was always there supporting and cheering for aurie during her performances and even her smallest accomplishments. and aurelia had just let her down. 

   aurelia had a tendency to do this with many of her past friends, and it's a habit she finds hard to break. when all feels lost, she pulls away socially and everything begins to fall to the ground like a row of dominos. people begin to leave.

   she was so worried. what if yujin left too?? i'm so undeserving of love, and yet i need it and i need her, especially. she's the only one who cares, i can't lose her like this.

   and yet aurelia felt helpless. when she's lonely, she stays that way, and no one deserves to be stuck with a shell of someone once so bright & happy, at least according to her.

in the end, she told herself
 i'm better off without her, i'm better off not being around her.

but everything still hurt the same, just like last time.

ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡ INCOMING BLURB FROM CHELS! <33

so yea maybe i'm just being me but i hate it when i distance myself from my friends when i'm not doing well mentally because it sets me back so far and then i end up right here wondering if i'm going to lose my best friend because they're tired of all this bullshit from me and tbh i deserve it.

fin.