Love You Still ≫ Honeyfern x Depressed! Female! Reader (PLATONIC)

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Art: willowfern_mywarrior

Song: Love You Still ~ Tyler Shaw

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️
• Angst
• Severe depression
• Suicidal thoughts
• Severe anxiety attack

A/N: If you or anyone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, get in touch with the NSPL, (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) Crisis Text Line, (Text HOME to 741741), or call your national emergency number if you're in immediate danger. (911, 999, etc.) You're never alone.

Pinestripe37, I promised I would put extra effort in this one-shot for you, so I hope it meets your expectations. Thank you for your undying love and support, and know that I have your back. Enjoy your request!

P.S, there's a lyric video behind the art



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You couldn't remember the last time you felt happy. It served as a distant memory, one so hazy and covered with the clouds of your despair that you had begun to wonder if all the "happy" moments in your life had merely been dreams; illusions you created in your own fragile mind to escape the endless sea of torment and anguish that had become your life. It had started with the occasional bad day; the kind where nothing seemed to go right. But still, at the very least, you felt like yourself again the next day. Things weren't meant to be simple for you, however, as your days all became bad and you never felt like yourself in the morning. You thought of nothing but the sweet relief death would bring, and the peaceful, endless sleep that would come after. No more pain. No more fatigue. Just you, the dark of your empty mind, and the sweet sound of silence. You supposed death wasn't something most cats longed for, but why would they? As far as you could tell, their lives were perfect. It made you feel quite bitter on the inside when you dwelled on it.

Where is my happy ending, StarClan? They never answered that question. They only glittered far above, shining as if mocking your internal darkness. No one ever bothered to ask if you were okay, to check up on you, even cast a mere glance in your direction. Except for one cat. A compassionate, loving, and bright young warrior who never failed to make your day a little better each time she showed her face. You just wished she felt the same about you.

"Hi (Y/N)," A gentle voice meowed from behind you. "I brought you some freshkill. It was the last rabbit on the pile, too!" You slowly raised your head, wincing as your stiff neck let out a sharp crack. Honeyfern seemed to notice your pitiful attempt at sitting, because her bright blue eyes softened like a queen doting over her sick kit.

"Thank you, Honeyfern." You rasped quietly, staring blankly at the rabbit. Your stomach clenched uncomfortably, and you fought back a gag. Your appetite had left you moons ago, just like everything else.

Your friend sighed softly, sitting down and wrapping her tail around her paws. "You have to eat something, (Y/N). You can't survive on just water and poppy seeds." You stiffened, your heart nearly coming to a stop. So she did know about the poppy seeds. You hadn't meant for her to find out, but you had been sneaking into the medicine den and making off with Leafpool's supply of the sleep-inducing herb for awhile now. No one had figured you out, but apparently Honeyfern kept a much closer eye on you than you initially thought.

"I'm alright." You mumbled, resting your chin on your paws and struggling to keep your breathing under control. What in StarClan's name was she going to do now that she knew your secret? Was she going to tell Leafpool or Firestar? A hard lump formed in your throat at the thought of being exiled from ThunderClan. You didn't know anything else.

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