My Boyfriend Is A Geek ✔️

43: You can't change how the heart really feels

He seemed to have caught wind of the new presence in the room – only that he had a different assumption of who it was. 

“Jim, why are you still here? I told you to go home,” he piped up. “You know it’s not just you anymore, so you can’t keep living like a single man and staying out late. Trust me, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of an angry wife.” He finished with a soft chuckle, eyes still glued to the papers in front of him.

I felt my lips curl into a smile at that, my mind slipping into the past – of how despite his crazy schedule, he never allowed his work to get in the way of being with us. He always strived to spend as much time as possible with us.

How could I have distanced myself from him all this time?

Perhaps, sensing the silence of the person he presumed to be Jim, he finally looked up from his file, features shrouded in surprise soon after.

“Brooke?” He echoed, as though trying to confirm his eyes weren’t playing tricks at him. And at the realization that they weren’t, his tired face was breaking into a smile. “Hey, honey,” he greeted, getting up from his seat and moving towards me. But I was way ahead of him.

I basically ran towards him, meeting him midway only to wrap my arms around him – clutching to him like a kid to candy.

He stiffened against my hug, obviously stunned by the action. And I couldn’t blame him for it. After all, I hadn’t hugged him like this in five years.

Yes, there were the awkward half hearted hugs which I handed out from time to time. You know, that type which barely lasted two seconds before I was hastily pulling away. But this was the first time I was actually letting myself  embrace him in a full bear hug.

A stunned moment later, I felt his big arms move to wrap around me as well, with the only thing he was able to say being: “Brooke.”

But that alone, expressed so much more than a thousand sentences could. The heavy emotion of his tone, the slight crack in his voice – no further words were needed. I understood it all. 

We both would never have imagined that we’d ever get to share a moment like this again. And now that we were, it felt surreal to say the least. It’s what I imagined returning to one’s home after many years away would feel like. Until now, I didn’t realize just how much I’d missed this – just how much I’d missed him.

And now that I did, I felt my eyes well up with treacherous tears yet again. “I’m so sorry, dad,” I mused shakily. “I really am.”

At that, he pulled away to stare at me, concerned eyes boring into mine. “Sweetie, what happened?”

“Mom,” I answered simply. 

Judging by how his hold on me loosened at that, I could tell he’d pretty much figured out everything. What followed was a long second of silence. When he finally spoke again, his voice was low and soulful. “Brooke, how…how did you find that out?”

“She told me.”

“Oh.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you.”

If anything, his earnest response just left me feeling worse. I made useless efforts at wiping my face. But no surprise there, a new batch flowed down almost immediately.

“You must hate me, right?”

“No, I…”

“All I ever did since the divorce was hurt you and blame you for things you weren’t even responsible for,” I mused, dying a little just from the memory of it.