One Last Shot

chapter twenty-two: lion's den

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warning: la part one (chapter 22) as well as la part two (chapter 23) consists of a series of trauma relating to parental/sibling emotional abuse as well as mentions of panic attacks & anxiety. if these topics trigger you easily, i suggest reading at your own discretion. xx
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Tayla

The second I close my eyes I'm drifted to a space like no other, total tranquillity, complete and utter peace. The salty breeze kisses my face while foamy waves crash into the rock formations under me. I sit alone in complete silence, the only noise coming from the sea and birds flying overhead, while I soak everything in.

The first time I ever sat on this rock was when I was five years old. My nanny Maria decided that a trip to the beach was needed that day. So she packed three towels, snacks, and juice and all together we drove the short distance down here. I remember sitting in the back making eye contact with her and asking her why we were driving to a beach when our house was right on one. She gave me a closed-mouth smile, the crow's feet on the side of her eyes popping out as her cheeks raised, and responded: 'Change is the greatest adventure there is mija' before turning her attention back to the road.

I stayed silent for the remainder of the ride after that. Soon after we parked, Owen was mindlessly blabbing about something to Maria and Matthew, who was just freshly one, began to cry. I was still a kid. I was completely clueless about life, barely starting to learn the alphabet, but one thing I knew for certain was that I hated seeing my baby brothers cry. With all my might I picked Matthew up, his body being half the size of my petite self, and waddled us both over to this very spot, not more than ten feet away from Maria.

I plopped my butt down on the smooth flat surface and rested the still whaling Matthew on my lap. "Look Matthew. The ocean. You love the ocean baby brother." I whispered to him, using my small hand to brush the pieces of curly blonde hair away from his face.

The waves crashed loudly against the rocks, startling him even more. It was the first time I got nervous around him. His cheeks were as red as an apple and his eyes puffy and swollen with tears. I looked back at Maria, who was still occupied with Owen, and she gave me a nod of reassurance. I knew she had faith in me to calm him down.

With the little knowledge I had in my brain I did the only thing I could think of. "It's okay Matthew. Shhhhh...One wave. Two waves. Three waves..." I counted each clash against the rocks. One after another. I'm not sure why I did it honestly, but I looked at Matthew and slowly his cries became sniffles and his sniffles turned into silence. "Ten waves...Uhm. Ten waves..." I trailed off.

"Eleven waves." Maria came up next to me, placing the babbling Owen on her lap. She looked down at me and smiled as she continued to count.

We drove all the way here that day and our feet didn't once hit the sand. Us four just stayed in our own cloud above the water. We just simply counted waves.

A car door slams shut behind me followed behind it getting locked. Footsteps grow increasingly loud while they approach me, but I don't move a muscle...I just stay in that memory.

"How a person can entertain themselves by counting is beyond me." I hear him softly chuckle and then swiftly sits himself next to me, our shoulders touching one another's.

"Once upon a time it entertained you too." I respond, tilting my head back.

"That was when my brain was minuscule." He scoffs.