Chapter 3.1

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Reminder: This is a book preview and only contains the first five chapters. My chapters are pretty long, so I've broken them down into sections. I hope you enjoy! Feel free to comment but no hate, please. Be mindful of trigger warnings in the Authors Note.


Jackie and Peter were the first to arrive at the office building. They waited in the car for Collin and Ginger to get there. Peter sat quietly, as usual, staring off into the distance, watching as the sun began to rise. Jackie admired the look of peace he wore. She couldn't take her eyes off him. She kept wondering if that was what his wife had seen that drew her to him. He was handsome of course, but there was something deeper; a serenity and brilliance that showed through every part of him. It made him truly beautiful.

She was so lost in her musing that she hadn't realized that he had spoken to her. He turned to her, then, smiling and touched her hand. "Where were you just now?"

"I'm sorry, Peter. I was just thinking about how peaceful you looked and became lost in thought."

"I usually am when I pray or think of you."

She smiled and asked, "Which were you doing just now?"

"Both, actually. I get distracted by thoughts of you, and it takes much longer for me to commune with God."

An apologetic look quickly replaced her smile. "I didn't mean to distract you."

"It is not your fault, milaya moya." He reached up and brushed her cheek with the back of his hand, then traced her jawline with his thumb back down to her chin. "My thoughts just seem to naturally gravitate to you. They have since the day I met you." He took her hand in his and looked back out the window. "It took me a long time to not feel guilty when I thought of you."

"Why would you feel guilty for thinking of me?"

"I felt that I was betraying my wife." He looked at her and smiled sadly, "She has been dead nearly fifteen years now; it seems silly, yes?"

She shook her head and squeezed his hand. "No, Peter, it doesn't. You loved your wife and you lost her so soon after you were married. I can't imagine what you went through or how you still feel about her."

"I still love her, but not the way I once did. You took that place in my heart long before I realized it. That was what caused me such guilt. That I could so easily replace her with another." He paused, clearing his throat of the lump that had formed there, looked down at her hand in his, and continued, "You remind me of her, sometimes. The way you carry yourself, energetic and passionate. The way you are slow to anger but will exact wrath upon those who provoke you." He looked up, expecting her to be upset, but all he saw in her face was patient understanding. "Does it bother you that I see her in you?"

She smiled, realizing his discomfort, and answered, "No, not at all. Will you tell me about her?"

"You really want to know?" He was shocked by her question and couldn't believe that she would be interested in his wife.

"Yes, of course! What was her name?"

He smiled at her honest curiosity. "Alena. I have a picture of her." He pulled out his wallet, opened it, and handed it to her. The picture was old and worn, but the teenage girl within it was the opposite. She had long golden hair hanging in loose curls around her shoulders with vibrant glacial blue eyes. Her skin was ivory and flawless. Her smile stole Jackie's breath away, and it warmed her heart to look at it. She had the same look of serenity that Peter had but multiplied by at least ten. The young woman seemed to glow.

"Peter, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

He smiled at Jackie. "She looks just like an angel, yes?"

"Yes, she does." She handed the wallet back to him, and he put it back in his pocket.

"She could sing like one, also. Her voice would make your heart ache with joy. She was solnyshko moyo."

"'My sun.' That's a perfect description of her, Peter. She radiates with an inner light. I've never seen anything like it."

"She was an angel put on earth just for me, even if it was for only one year, eleven months, two weeks and four days. I loved her more than my own life."

"More than you love me," Jackie added matter-of-factly.

"Do not say such things, milaya moya!" Peter took her hand and kissed it. "I have spent many nights lying awake, wondering if Alena had lived and I had come here if I still would have fallen in love with you. I loved her more than I could ever express, but what I feel for you is even more than my love for her. I almost lost my mind when Alena died, but I survived. I am afraid of how much I love you, milaya moya. My greatest fear is losing you, Jackie; I would not survive it." He reached up, wiped the tear from her face, and caressed her cheek.

Jackie didn't think; she leaned across the console and kissed him. She had never felt such elation at the thought of a man loving her. She couldn't understand why he felt the way he did, but she knew, without a doubt, that she was falling in love with him. This kind and gentle man who was nothing like the men she had dated before had won her heart.

Peter wasn't fast enough to stop her. He was about to pull away when he realized that this kiss was different from their first. The energy wasn't lustful or needy; it was sweet and gentle, full of love and gratitude. He kissed her back, allowing her to decide when to end it.

She released him from the kiss a moment later and placed her head on his shoulder with her forehead against his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly until he saw Collin's car about to pull into the parking lot. "Collin has arrived. I do not think it would be wise to let him see us like this."

She sat up reluctantly. "You're probably right. He's been saying a lot, lately, that none of us should be fraternizing with one another. Han and I were careful that he didn't know about our arrangement. Ginger's immature actions after she and Han broke up put a lot of things into perspective when it came to relationships in the workplace."

"You were not so easy going after your breakup with him, either. In a way, I was glad when he started calling you again. I did not like seeing you in such a bad mood."

She sighed at the memory of how temperamental she had been during those two months. She smiled and replied, "Point taken. Will you call me tonight?"

"Yes, I will call you, but you text me as soon as you get there so that I know you are safe."

Jackie smiled warmly and replied, "I will."

"I will give you an hour or two to get settled before I call." Peter squeezed her hand, then got out of the car.

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