𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 // 𝐦.𝐬.

025

summers pov bc i'm trying something new:

"do you believe in love?"

my face turned to straight flabbergasted-ness as i laid on the floor of my room, none other than matt beside me.

what?

i wasnt confused as to why he asked me that whatsoever. it was very late -technically i would consider it very early because it was 5 in the morning; but it was late for us since we hadn't gone to bed- and neither of us were in our right minds. not high on drugs, but high on 36 hours of no sleep.

what made me look at him like that was my knowledge of us not being just friends at the moment. we had kissed and even went on a few dates but no matter how bad i wanted us to be, we weren't together together.

i wasn't just confused, i was also, hurt? i don't know man feelings are confusing.

like; i like him. and i think he likes me back. but i'm also still hurt from noah. and he's still recovering from sylvia.

but we aren't just friends. friends don't go out on dates. friends don't kiss. friends don't sob uncontrollably together while telling each other their experiences with domestic violence.

anyways, back to matt's random question. i say random because we had been laying on my floor, staring at the galaxy light pattern covering my ceiling, in silence for the past hour.

"i mean, of course i do. but i don't have a clue what mutual and safe love looks and feels like," i never had a good example of real love growing up. my parents haven't talked to eachother in over a decade. and i loved noah of course, but with recent reconsideration, i've realized he never loved me. or atleast he never loved me the way i loved him, and if he did he didn't love me for long.

matt stayed there for a second, still staring at the ceiling. after a moment, i saw him in my peripheral vision look away from the ceiling and look at me.

we were close, our bodies were touching and our hands were intertwined. my head was nearly laying on his shoulder, my hair was sprawled over his chest. i never realized that but he never seemed to move it.

i watched him in my peripherals for a few moments more before looking at him, losing myself in his bright eyes.

"do you believe in love?"

matt had to think about the question as well. he had a very different visual of love than i. his parents were high school sweethearts, i think the reason he's such a gentleman is because he grew up watching his father care for his mother. plus, he had justin. who i'd never met before, but apparently he's engaged to his high school sweetheart.

"the only relationship i've ever been in was with sylvia, but i definitely believe in love." he smiled, god his smile was something. i could forever get lost in his smile.

"you know the hormone oxytocin?" i asked him, about to go full doctor on him. he shook his head but looked so interested, so of course i continued.

"it's got a lot of responsibility. it sends women into labor, and it works hand in hand with the heart. but many people know it as the 'love hormone'." i started again, pausing to see if he was actually interested.

matt turned his head like a curious puppy, rubbing my thumb with his own.

"oxytocin is released when the brain experiences love. it's also released when someone is cuddling. it's so strong that when you stop cuddling, you can experience a type of withdrawal, called 'cuddle drop'." i finished, smiling back at matt.

"where'd you learn all this?" matt seemed so caught up in what i was talking about, it made me so happy that someone in my life actually cared about my crazy knowledge of the human body.

i laughed and smiled, explaining that i've always been a medical nut. after i finished he kept smiling as comfortable silence filled the space between us, which there wasn't much.

i turned on my side and pulled mine and matt's interlocked hands onto his chest, because me turning on my side pushed us close.

using my free hand i reached up to matt's face, tracing his jawline, feeling his growing in facial hair with my fingers.

i don't know why, but my heart and brain was telling me to touch him. touch his jaw, touch his cheeks, touch him. my love language is definitely physical touch so it makes sense.

i heard matts breath deepen as i reached up towards his hair, twirling strands in between my fingers.

i guess i caught him super flustered because usually whenever i tease him he teases me back, but now his face was deep red and he was falling into my touch.

i do not mind it whatsoever though, i love treating him. he's always so focused on me and pleasing me, i worry he doesn't worry about pleasing himself.

"i make you nervous?" i teased with a laugh hidden behind my whisper right into his ear. he blushed even more, making me smile.

dammit matthew. i think i do believe in love. love with you.

885 words
liz speaks!

hello friends

i really enjoyed writing like this, did you guys enjoy reading it?

also matt and summer make me blush bro. i wanna have whatever they have.

I LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH