the balcony ••• awsten knight

eight

content warning: mention of parental death and themes of alcohol

march 2017

Once out the door, Awsten has to rush a few steps to catch up to Emily, after she'd already stormed ahead of him.

"You walk pretty fast for someone so little," he comments once he reaches her side.

Emily stops in her tracks to shoot him a glare in full affect. "That's rude," she states, tearing her scowl away from him and continuing to walk.

"It's not," Awsten counters. "Just pointing out the obvious. Saying what I see," he shrugs, clearly trying to prod for a reaction out of her.

"Hilarious," Emily retorts, flatly, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, come on," Awsten chuckles. "Don't be so uptight."

She stops again. Halts her fast-paced stroll and scowls again. Emily opens her mouth to say something but snaps it shut quickly. Not worth it, she tells herself, letting out a huff before continuing along the path again.

"You didn't tell me where you're staying," Awsten points out.

"Correct," Emily nods, curtly. "But, I believe I did tell you that it's none of your business," she shoots him her best fake smile, followed swiftly by another eye roll.

"Careful. The more you roll your eyes at me, the more likely it is for your face to be stuck like that when the wind changes direction," Awsten mocks. Another eye roll. "That's what they say, isn't it? That old myth. You're playing with fire here, Iver."

"A myth? I heard it was a true story," Emily entertains his notion. "I heard it happened to a little boy from Houston, Texas. Knight. Never been the same since, I hear."

"Oh, you are funny," Awsten nudges her side, but she only glowers at him.

Emily returns her stare ahead of them as they walk in quiet for a few minutes. She notices Awsten glancing at her, out of the corner of his eye, every few seconds.

"This is the most we've spoken," Emily says, breaking the silence that had settled.

"Huh?" A brief, confused frown graces his features before he looks ahead again.

"This. Tonight," Emily adds. "It's probably the most we've ever spoken. Without totally wanting to murder each other."

If there was just a drop more alcohol in her system, she probably would've added something along the lines of, apart from the first time we met— like actually first met— because you didn't seem to hate me then.

"Oh," Awsten responds, the short response so quiet that the sound could've been stolen by a gust of wind. "Yeah, I guess," he shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Glad I'm doing a good job at acting like I don't want to murder you," Awsten quips, lightening the tone. Emily isn't sure why it makes her smile— the tiniest smile.

The topic is dropped as the two of them emerge onto a busier street, now lined by a road. Emily almost trips over when Awsten bumps into her, as he switches the side of the pavement he's walking on.

"What was that for?" She grumbles, resisting the urge to shove him back out of pettiness.

Awsten only shakes his head in dismissal, looking away from her and focussing forward, now walking on the side of the pavement that's closest to the road. Sighing over the fact that he ignored her question, Emily rolls her eyes and brushes it off.

"What were you going to say earlier?" Awsten asks, seemingly out of the blue, but his mind has been stuck on it. She shoots him a look, signalling for him to elaborate— he can practically hear her saying you're gonna have to be more specific than that, without even moving her lips. "Earlier, you were going to tell me something. It's been two years since— and then you stopped. 'Said it was nothing."

Emily exhales, kicking her feet along the pavement as they continue to walk. They're moving a little slower now, but she doesn't seem to notice.

"It's been two years since my dad died."

Neither of them really expect the words to come out of her mouth, but they do.

"Oh, shit...I'm sorry," Awsten responds, gently.

The softness in his voice almost makes Emily wants to curl up into a ball and cry. But, she shoves that feeling away.

"It's fine. It was a long time ago," she turns her head to look in the opposite direction, mostly as a distraction, hoping to seem nonchalant.

"Two years isn't that long," Awsten points out, carefully, but Emily shrugs it off and he takes that as a hint to drop the subject. "Will you tell me where you're staying now?"

Emily huffs in defeat. "I'm staying at my cousin's flat, I told you that earlier. It's not too far now."

She doesn't look at him when she answers, but she can feel his eyes on her when she talks. If it was anyone other than Awsten, she might like it— it makes her feel like she's being listened to. But, it is Awsten, and because of that, she hates it.

He doesn't need to seem like he's interested, listening to her and engaged in what she's saying.

Emily doesn't know why he's acting as if he cares and she doesn't want it to break down the hate-filled facade that she's managed to keep up with him for so long.

She definitely doesn't like that she's now told him something personal about herself. She's sure that she wouldn't have told him if there wasn't just enough alcohol in her system to even slightly cloud her judgement.

"I don't get why you're here," Emily scoffs— the beginning of her attempt to piss him off.

He's usually the one saying whatever he can to get a rise out of her, so now it's her turn.

Awsten sighs. "I swear we've been over this."

"I was probably trying to drown out the sound of you talking," Emily retorts, a lot quicker than expected.

A huff escapes Awsten's mouth and Emily smirks— she watches the way his chest rises and falls, seeming more hardened before, and she knows that she's getting a rise out of him.

"What happened to not wanting to murder each other?" He asks, testing if he can lighten things up again— he can't. "I'm just trying to make sure you get home safe," Awsten replies, stiffly.

"Oh, that makes you such a hero. Thank you!" Emily's sarcasm bubbles out loudly, as she takes a large step and turns her body, coming to a halt in front of Awsten.

He frowns, staring at her oddly. She glances towards the building next to her and Awsten's eyes follow her's.

"Congrats. Mission accomplished," Emily shrugs, offering up a fake grin.

Awsten looks away from her, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. She watches the way his jaw flexes as he presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek. If she wasn't so focused on getting some sort of a reaction out of him— a snarky one-liner, one of those displeased face-scrunches that he does, or even an angry-snappy comment— she'd pay more attention to the way his sharp jaw makes her feel a little...

"Do you want me to walk you up?" Awsten nods towards the doors of the apartment complex, interrupting Emily's thought.

"No," she answers, shortly.

He rolls his eyes. "Why are you being like that?"

"Being like what?"

Her feigned cluelessness clearly touches a nerve. Awsten looks up at the sky above them, exhaling before returning his eyes to her.

"You're being difficult."

"Maybe you're just being sensitive," Emily counters. She swears he visibly flinches.

"Whatever," Awsten shakes his head, a humourous laugh slipping from his mouth, beginning to turn around. "Fuck off, Emily."

"Gladly," she calls after him as he walks away.

Emily turns on her heels and heads up to her cousin's apartment.

Now, her own mission is accomplished. She pissed him off and pushed him away, pushed him back to a safer distance. That was her aim and she achieved it; which is why it's all the more confusing when she's crying as soon as she's through the door to her cousin's apartment.

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