the balcony ••• awsten knight

two

september 2016

As expected, Awsten is in an awful mood when he wakes up.

He doesn't even remember falling asleep. His memory is lapsed by exhaustion; it's clear, up until he and Sadie went to bed.

He remembers her going to the bathroom, and he remembers her shouting at him.

He remembers looking to her nightstand to see her phone was face-down, the screen lighting up every couple of seconds, and he remembers trying to ignore the alarm bells that were ringing in his head.

He doesn't remember when it went wrong. He doesn't remember why she started shouting at him, and he doesn't remember why she kicked him out— if there even was a reason.

But, he remembers walking to the B&B. He remembers her calling him to yell some more. He remembers crying— he didn't need to remember that, though, because the way his throat hurts and his eyes burn is enough to tell him that it happened.

Everything around him sounds like static, and he doesn't even hear Geoff trying to get his attention.

"Awsten," he says, one more time, waving his hand in front of his face.

The action visibly snaps Awsten out of his trance and he blinks blankly at Geoff, finally beginning to feel present.

"D'you want some coffee?" Geoff repeats his question.

"Uh, I— Yeah," Awsten nods, slowly.

"Dude, you totally spaced out just then," Otto chimes in, a concerned look in his face.

"Sorry, I just..." He sighs, rubbing his hands over his face. "I feel like I didn't sleep at all."

"I'm not surprised," Jawn murmurs in response, causing Awsten's head to shoot up, now sending daggers in his direction. "Sorry, I— We heard you on the phone last night," he looks to Geoff and Otto, who's expressions melt to sympathy.

"Fuck," Awsten grumbles, letting his head fall to rest in his hands. "I tried to be quiet, guys, I'm sorry."

"We know, it's okay," Geoff offers him a small smile. "How about we get coffee on the way to the meeting?" He suggests, earning agreement from the rest of the group.

Their softness and sympathy doesn't make Awsten feel any better. If anything, it makes him feel more guilty; they're always so accommodating when anything goes wrong. He wonders how different things would be if they weren't that way.

He doesn't say much between a light breakfast and the walk to get coffee. He's quietly stewing, revelling in his own bad mood, only making it progressively worse— which causes Geoff and Otto to dread the band's looming meeting with their record label even more. They feel a little bad for envying Jawn, who gets to stay back at the B&B.

Equal Vision Records has quickly gone down in each of their estimations. A year ago, they felt like saviours— offering the three of them the opportunity they'd been waiting years for. But, day by day, their true colours have began to show; and everyone's patience, especially Awsten's, is beginning to wear thin.

"I'm willing to bet money that everything said in this meeting could've been an email," Awsten speaks up, for the first time in over an hour.