Damaged - A Hetalia AU (ON HOLD)

Chapter 10: Big Brother

"Y'know, although I am your older brother, don't I give off that awesome-uncle-vibe?" Prussia asked, posing to show off his supposed 'awesomeness'. Ludwig sighed, placing the dish towel on the counter. "I know what you mean, of course, but I get more of a 'chaotic older brother' vibe from you. But of course, you're still awesome." Ludwig replied.

"Wait, little bro, did we ever have an uncle like that? Adoptive or biological?" Gilbert questioned, thinking of their relatives that they'd since stopped talking to. "No. Our family was all over the place, honestly. Our parents cut most of our relatives off from us after their marriage started getting messy." Ludwig answered.

"They sorta just... Cut us off when we left for college, didn't they?" Gilbert recalled, looking down at the floor. "Honestly, did any of us have good adoptive parents? Vash and Lilli's mom was an asshat to them, ours cut us off as soon as we became adults, and Roderich's were toxic perfectionists who disowned him after he started dating Elizaveta." He replied.

Gilbert tapped his foot against the ground, looking at Ludwig. "Still probably would have been better than our biological parents, I guess. But not by a lot though." He said softly, looking out the window. Ludwig's face had a mix of a neutral and saddened look on it, staring down at the counter, with his hands placed on it.

"The house is too quiet," Ludwig whispered, finally meeting Gilbert's eyes. Taking out his phone, he pulled up a video. But it wasn't just any video you could find on the internet. It was a video recorded by Elizaveta that she'd sent to the German. The video was one of Roderich peacefully playing his piano as rain poured outside.

Placing his phone face-down on the counter, he looked over at a space in the living room, just barely visible from the kitchen. He closed his eyes, imagining Roderich and his beloved piano right there, as he played a stunning melody, that all of the other Germanics remembered by heart, considering how much he played it.

Gilbert walked up to Ludwig, patting his younger, yet taller brother on the back. "I know, he was a bitch to us at times, but it's hard for us to lose him oh so suddenly." He muttered, imagining the same thing as Ludwig. "The funeral isn't that far away either. That's gonna be a hard day for all of us." Gilbert added.

Just then, footsteps came down the stairs. Both brothers looked to the stairs, to see Lilli slowly walking down to the first floor. "Hey, Lils!" Gilbert exclaimed, waving to her. "I don't mean to be rude, but I don't like that nickname..." She responded, only making eye contact with the Prussian for a quick second.

"Huh. I thought you always liked me calling you Lils-" Ludwig cut Gilbert off, placing a hand on his shoulder. "She's not in the mood, Gilbert." Ludwig watched as Lilli sat down on the couch, hugging a pillow close to her body. "Everything okay, Lilli?" Ludwig questioned, walking over to her.

He sat next to her, resting his forearms on his knees. "Just give me a nod or something." He said, looking at her. She raised her head ever so slightly, meeting his eyes. She shook her head, a tear running down her cheek. She quickly looked away from him, hiding her crying face.

"Hey, Lilli, c'mere," Ludwig whispered, pulling her close to him. "It's okay. We're all struggling right now." Lilli looked up at him, still weeping as tears ran down her face. "I know you miss Roderich. We all do." He muttered as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Ludwig," Lilli began, wiping her tears with her sleeve. "Why did Vash leave us?" Ludwig's mind froze at the question. Despite its seemingly simple wording, the meaning was so much more than he could handle. And the answer to the question felt like it was lost in the deepest parts of the ocean, never to be found. But somehow, he could pick it out.

"I... Look, Lilli. He's probably feeling guilty. He probably thinks the accident is his fault because he's the one who survived. But it wasn't his fault. He probably thinks we're mad at him, although when I did go to see him while he was still recovering, I told him we knew it wasn't his fault, but I think he still thinks so." Ludwig responded.

Lilli sighed. "I'm not mad at him for the accident, because it wasn't his fault, but I'm..." She paused. "I just don't understand. I want to see him again. He knows I could never get mad at him for anything. Why is he pushing me away like this?" Tears welled up in Lilli's eyes as she spoke.

Ludwig held Lilli in a tight hug once again, Gilbert watching from the kitchen. "I miss Roderich, I miss Vash-" She began sobbing before she could finish her sentence. Ludwig looked at her, a wave of sadness washing over him. Then he had an idea. He didn't know if it was a good idea, but hopefully, it would help.

"Hey, Lilli," Ludwig said, getting Lilli's attention. "I know, we're all your big brothers, but we also know Vash is your main one. So, how about until Vash is in a good enough state mentally to take care of you again, I'll be your main big brother, okay? Would you like me to do that?" He asked.

Lilli tilted her head to the left, considering what Ludwig just said. "You would?" She replied, looking at him. Ludwig smirked, holding her a little closer. "Of course, I would. If that's okay with you-" Ludwig was cut off by Lilli hugging him. "Thank you so much." She muttered.

"No problem, Lils." He responded, still holding her. Gilbert chuckled, watching his two siblings. "Told ya you'd be an awesome big brother if you tried!" Gilbert yelled from the kitchen, throwing his fist into the air. The two looked at him, Lilli quietly giggling at Gilbert's antics.

"Well, because I'm Ludwig's awesome big brother, I'll be your temporary awesome older-older brother!" Gilbert joked, walking over and popping down on the arm of the couch right next to them. "We're the best siblings ever, aren't we?" Gilbert bragged, ruffling Ludwig's hair.

"You'd be the coolest of us all if you started cooking dinner," Ludwig whispered, elbowing Gilbert lightly in the side. Gilbert groaned in response, making Lilli laugh. "Fine. It's just gonna be us and Elizaveta, right?" Gilbert asked as he walked into the kitchen to cook.

"Yup," Ludwig replied, as Lilli got up to go grab something from upstairs. He stood up, walking into the kitchen with Gilbert. "Y'know, you're very brave to trust me with dinner. I'm a terrible cook, but then again, at least I'm better than Arthur, y'know?" Gilbert said.

"Make pancakes for all I care," Ludwig responded, taking out some plates from the cabinet. "... Alright," Gilbert muttered, taking out the pancake mix from the cupboard. "Everyone oughta eat this, right?" Gilbert questioned as he grabbed a few other ingredients.

"It'll be a yes if Elizaveta manages to eat it. The same goes for Lilli. I've noticed she's been eating significantly less since Roderich died. Must all be from grieving." Ludwig answered, thinking of how much Lilli had cut down on her eating. He was honestly worried about her, and he was sure Vash would be too if he knew.

"Honestly, a lot's been happening for her. She's struggling so much with Roderich's death, and she was already terrified about starting high school when September rolls around. And she's just been so disappointed that she hasn't been able to see Vash. And I heard from Feliciano she's been having a few panic attacks recently too." Gilbert said.

Gilbert continued. "And don't even get me started on poor Elizaveta. Losing her husband, and not being able to have a baby, her mental health has been rapidly declining, and just so much more than that. She's been struggling so much. I just wanna hug her, honestly. She's such a sweet person, she doesn't deserve any of this."

Ludwig sighed, sitting down on one of the island's stools. "None of us deserve this, but especially her. Sure, Roderich wasn't the nicest person in the world, but he was still important to us." He remarked, putting his elbow on the edge of the island. Gilbert sat down next to him, patting his back.

"Hopefully, it'll all be over someday..."

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(A\N: Sorry for the late chapter! Honestly, motivation can be so hard to find sometimes, but hopefully, this chapter was good!)