𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗘 ⨾ vernon

10 | 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗼𝗹

Well, if you look at my chances of escape today, you'll find none. That's what I'm telling myself when Jisol appears in front of me with a bag of chips in his hand. I'm at the kitchen island, going back and forth between it and the stove to make my noodles. I would eat out, but neither do I have the money nor do I have the time, right now.

"Look who it is. The infamous Vernooooon. How ARE you doing, you brat of a sickening onion?" Jisol looks horrible and he smells like garbage.

I wonder how many days have gone without him taking a shower. And he's calling me, an onion. My God, I hate him.

He leans forward on the island and I can hear the irritating sound of him munching on his chips. He seems to have more than fifty dollars this time. I need to get them.

"Are you planning to ignore me forever, Vernon?" He asks with his mouth full with both chips and ignorance.

I don't reply to him since I can't afford to ruin my mood today. I have to have a good, clear and positive attitude at school today. For some reason, I want to be normal. Not like the brother of a junkie who never cares for anyone but himself.

"Boy, you're sick. I'm your brother. Look. At. Me." I keep the stove at sim and turn to him.

"Hmm. Let me examine. You're in love and you have a fucking girlfriend!" He bursts laughing out and it doesn't stop until he chokes on his chips. "Don't tell me it's a Korean chick? Are you crazy, little brother?"

"I do not have a girlfriend. And also," I look directly into his eyes as he gulps down, "what you said is racist."

"Aww, crybaby. I'm so sorry you fell for a Korean girl. What did you fall for? Her tits or her aegyo?" His pronunciation is cheap and he laughs once again. I'm adding in another reason why I think Jisol should be kicked out of this house. But what can I do? I'm younger and I obviously have no say.

"Answer me, stupid little fuck. Bring her in. Let me see how good she's at sucking it." He looks down at my body and I'm filled with shame. Both for having him as my brother and also for his awful... existence.

Just because he's older than me doesn't mean he has a brain.

I turn the knob off and pour down my noodles in a bowl. I wish I could take it out and eat my thing while I'm walking to school. I should have just grabbed a granola bar.

"I don't have a girlfriend and I do not like anyone. You're terrible." I sit down on a table and try to eat my food as fast as I can. I can't shoo him away since he isn't going to go back to his room any time soon, anyway. I chose my torture and I must get it.

"I am terrible?" His expression is incredulous. "Me? Have you looked at yourself in the damn mirror, you ugly ass bitch?"

Jisol's hair is a mess, his bath robe is still on him even though he doesn't bother getting in the bathroom. He's wearing my Mommory and everything he steals from me, he wears them as a sign of victory and flashes them to me however he can. The fact that he thinks that I'm ugly, well I can think of punching him for saying that. But looking at him, I just choose to not say anything anymore. He's crazy and I realise I don't have the energy for dealing with that. I don't want to argue with him first thing in the morning.

He's drugged and drunk and he's horrible right now. He used to be such a great guy back in the States. He was the best person in the world. I didn't know he could be so racist, so sexist and ignorant. His whole attitude changed since Dad moved us here. He hates Dad. I call Dad, Birthgiver, since he honestly hasn't done much for us ever since she died.

I had to do everything after Birthgiver chose to wake up at 4 and leave and then come back at 2 every night. Every day I wait for him and get disappointed. I want to talk to him, but he doesn't bother looking at me. He doesn't bother looking at Jisol, too.

'Darren,' my Dad used to call Jisol dearly. That was a long time ago.

"What do you even do at school, Vernon? If I were you, I'd just bunk." He puts forward his hand and steals some of my food. It disgusts me to have his unwashed hands in my food and I want to fucking cry right now but I don't bother. I keep eating.

"I'm not you, Darren. I have different choices. I respect people."

"What a Mary Sue. Look, you're not the perfect person, okay? All you need to do, is give me back my money. Is that so hard?" He sits on the island table and leans down to me. His eyes have the darkest bags underneath them and it makes me cry even more. Tears infect my eyes but I still don't let them out.

"I needed that for the electric bill. It was due six months. You like the A/C too much." My voice wavers with the amount of suppressing I'm doing right now.

"I do not care," he says softly and then makes a noise if annoyance. "You have to give it back to me, or else," he shows me my Mommory, "this won't exist anymore." He winks at me and exits the kitchen, gets in his room, locks the door and screams at the top of his lungs. I can hear his frustration through the walls and then finally, I let out the tears.

〄

First Mondays of new months give us an awful choice of joining Physical Education class and we can never un-choose it. Sanghee stands beside me as we try to focus on dodging the ball that comes right after us in the game. Apparently it's a unisex game here (which doesn't have to make sense right now, since I don't know the basics of literally anything).

"Just focus on your breathing and help me point to where we have to jump. It's important we don't lose our focus." Sanghee instructs like a pro and I notice how flawlessly she plays the game. Her tactic is smooth and she's very agile. I follow what she tells me and we are successful in dodging two attacks.

Then Sanghee takes the ball and hits on the main front guy as she jumps up for the attack. Everyone praises her for the skill and I stand there, watching her smile.

She high-fives a girl from our team but soon that smile is gone as the other girl doesn't give her much attention. People really seem to avoid her, even when she's the winning factor of the game.

I go behind her and stand. At least I won't do what everyone else is doing.

"Go stand at the back, they are going to change their strategy now."

"But I don't want to leave you alone here, no one is there to cover you." I shift my focus from the opponent team to her and back to them. As she said, I'm alert.

"No one has to," she says and briefly looks at me. Her cheeks are red and she's sweating, but she still looks good and determined. I gulp down and nod my head.

"Okay, Sanghee." I do as she says and go back.

She was right when she said they changed their strategy. The next ball comes striking after her as they intend to eliminate her, but Sanghee jumps very high and the ball comes straight to me. I jump to the right and the ball fails to touch me.

Sanghee looks back and smiles at me. I think nothing and smile back as the ball boy runs after the ball.

Sanghee doesn't take her eyes off me for a while and I don't, too. She finally gets ready for the next attack. I do, too.

I spend the rest of the game following her and we win the match eventually.

Turns out, Physical Education can be fun.