𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗘 ⨾ vernon

01 | 𝘀𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗲𝗲

As someone who claims to be my best friend, Yeonhee definitely needs to check the dictionary for that one.

You'd think I go through all this hell since I gotta survive high school, right? No, the answer for that is an I-fucking-don't.

I'm starting to rethink my life decisions on choosing her as something near to even a friend as I adjust the hem of my skirt, bending down to pluck another strand of wild grass. Our school very questionably doesn't keep a gardener. Or maybe it's just free real estate for cheapskates.

"I told you so. You knew you'd get in trouble. Why did you have to beat her up?" Yeonhee rubs her forehead with the back of her palm, wiping off the sweat she has accumulated since she joined me here about five minutes ago. Ask me how many hours of pathetic-grass-picking I've been doing. Probably more than how many she takes for her makeup.

Considering the fact that she's an I-told-you-so person, I don't expect much niceness from her. She doesn't have to show me how sorry she is for me. What is the cost of her being sorry, you ask? A broken nose. Of someone who made her mad. Yeah, I am not the shitty friend who'd stay quiet when her friend gets insulted. I speak up. Or, more accurately, action up.

And Yeonhee doesn't, when I get in trouble. And that's why she's the shitty friend here.

"Sanghee, you've ignored my texts for a whole day, what's wrong with you?" Yeonhee pushes and I keep my head down, trying to concentrate on the grass. Even the grass pities me.

Yeonhee sighs and stops helping me, her hair falling ahead to canopy her face. The brown highlights from last week have faded a little now and she looks almost as beautiful as she used to before. Her school uniform is now exchanged with track clothes and her pants are a deep blue. When she looks up, I see her red-rimmed eyes.

Oh. I didn't know she was capable of crying. She's not the crying-type. She's the make-someone-cry-type. And by that someone, I mean me.

"What do you want?" I ask, a bit too harshly. I've been quiet about this whole thing since morning and it is evident that she wants me to talk. She doesn't like me not speaking to her. She says it gets suffocating when I don't.

"Leave that for a minute, please?" Yeonhee takes my hand and I hesitate, getting stuck at my position. She yanks my hands away from being rigid and holds them tightly. "Give me a chance to justify myself, Pretty Girl?"

She knows I'm not pretty. I'm just a 'shadow who lurks behind her'. It's true, she said it herself once when I couldn't pick up her call. I was waiting on my pre-final test results. I was worried. And I didn't want to be nice to her at that time. So I didn't pick up her call. And the next day, this was what she told me when she met me at the locker.

As for me, I chose to forget about that and instead, I made up to her since I didn't want her to know about my scores. They looked like hell and tasted like shinigamis.

Maybe I should know what a textbook-best-friend is, too.

I don't say anything because I'm just partly angry at her. I'm more or so disappointed at myself for standing up for someone who'd never stand up for me. I chose the wrong person to care about. That's my fault, and I have to deal with that.

"Okay so, look. I had to do this live since I promised my followers I'd share my secret night routine to them. They were waiting, Sanghee."

As if I wasn't.

I look her in the eye this time. Her flawless skin never fails to mesmerise me. An Ulzzang at best, Yeonhee is that girl. The worst thing about being an influencer is being an influencer. You just don't know when these people are being genuine and when they're not.

You get the scene now. Someone bullied Yeonhee online and I had to take my anger down for that and find out who that pester-nut was and chase them to beat the crap out of them. All this time, I didn't know one thing. Yeonhee never cared about those haters. But I did and it was getting on my nerves.

"Sanghee, I don't know why you feel like you have to take care of everything. You're good as you are, okay? You don't need to prove to me that you love me, okay? You're my favorite. You should know that." Yeonhee smiles and touches my cheek. I side-eye her hand and sit down on the grass, looking above at the sky, hugging my feet.

I don't even know where to start. I don't even know how to speak to her anymore. I don't even know what this is.

I was too much of a fool. I should have known better. Ha.

"This whole thing about being your favorite, Yeonhee, I don't care about that," I say with the smallest of my voices. "I didn't want them to bully you, or anyone, for that matter. You might not be bothered by them, but I am."

"Sanghee-ah," she starts, "not everything is in our control. Sometimes, it takes patience to get to the rock bottom. I was being patient and collecting all the proof I could against them so I could sue them legally, you know? You destroyed everything." She says the last part without any emotions at all.

Her hand leaves my face, "You're not my favorite anymore."

The next part goes like this: Yeonhee getting up. Yeonhee brushing grass off her evening-jog track pants. Yeonhee smirking. Yeonhee invisibly breaking our friendship. Yeonhee walking away. Yeonhee vanishing. Yeonhee destroying my heart.