scars || sirius black

48 - birthday candles

"I have to go."

"I know," he said and kissed her again softly.

With one step backwards she was gone, disappearing around the corner.

He breathed out. These few scarce moments they had together were all that kept him going, the only thing that would sometimes get him out of bed in the morning and pull him out of his thoughts on those days when he couldn't think of any other reason to keep going. The lasting effects of the cruciatus curse were cruel.

Some days everything hurt, some days he couldn't feel anything at all. Those days were the worst.

He ran a hand through his hair and pulled his backpack onto his shoulder, setting his jaw. He refused to let them win.

—————

Winter fell away into spring and blossom began to appear on the trees, casting a fresh glow over the grounds. Emmy and Remus' 18th birthday fell on a rainy Thursday at the end of March but the day was lit up by a new presence in the Gryffindor tower. In the 7th year girls' dormitory, Dory carried a large box over the floorboards and settled it on Emmy's bed.

The Astrals crowded around as they waited for her to open it, eyes gleaming with excitement.

Her heart raced at their smiling faces and she reached for the soft pink bow. With a quick tug it fell away and the lid came free. Half-expecting some sort of prank to go off, she cautiously looked over the edge of the box, butterflied rising in her stomach. With a gasp, she spotted the tiny black kitten curled up in soft woollen blankets. Its wide eyes opened slowly and it gazed curiously up at her, paws kneading the fabric it was swaddled in.

She let out an involuntary breathy laugh, unable to keep the gleaming smile off her face and looked up at her friends.

"Thank you so much," she managed to croak out. Lily wrapped in a side-armed hug as the others cooed over the kitten, faces bright.

With shaking hands, she reached out to pick it up and it settled itself into her arms, head resting against her collar bone. Her heart swelled as it nestled against her and she felt strangely emotional. She had always wanted a cat or an owl like the others but there had never been the right time to go and pick one from Diagon Alley. She supposed that there never really was a right time for anything, that it wasn't worth waiting to do something you'd love because there was no guarantee of tomorrow.

"What are you going to call him?" Alice asked excitedly.

Emmy thought for a minute.

"Mac, I think," she said. "After Fleetwood Mac."

The others laugh and Lily rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Of course," she laughed.

—————

It was a quiet birthday that year and Emmy spent it with the Astrals down by the Black Loch. She stopped by the boys' dormitory to wish Remus a happy birthday and drop off a present before they left but didn't see him much until dinner time when the house elves brought up a ginormous cake for them both. It was chocolate and covered in sprinkles with candles that sung happy birthday in awful harmonies when they were lit, but it was the best they'd ever had.

Emmy's wish when she blew out the candles was the only thing she had wanted for the past three months now, for this goddamn war to end.

—————

On Sunday afternoon, Emmy left the common toom around four o'clock to head to McGonagall's office for a career meeting.  Everyone else was studying for the NEWTS exams which were just around the corner, Queen blasting from the radio in the corner as usual.