Love Me At My Worst ✓

44.

He felt like crying loudly when he looked at the two lines on the stick there were facing him.

"Fuck..."he whispered as he checked the other two as well.. which showed the same result.

"It's - it's my fault... H-how am i going to tell this to t-taehyung.."he spoke worriedly as tears fell from his eyes uncontrollably.

He kept staring at the three sticks in his hand and cried even more.. sobbing as he leaned his head back on the door.

He closed his eyes as he turned his face upwards. He felt like throwing up and not just because of the nausea caused by pregnancy.

Pregnancy.. he hadn't even thought about getting pregnant ever again after losing Hyun.

And definitely not after getting married to taehyung who he didn't love at first ... Or more like.. was reluctant to fall in love with.

But now .. he's sitting here in the bathroom crying his eyes out while his one hand is holding the pregnancy test sticks and the other is caressing his bump.

There are so many reasons of why he doesn't want to get pregnant.. why he doesn't want to have a child right now and why it isn't the right time.

He has to tell this taehyung ... Afterall he's the father even though not by choice. But nonetheless he is the other parent.

"What to do now... What do I do." He spoke looking down at his stomach in between his desperate cries.

"T-taehyung.. what about him now..

He is already drowning in studies. I have seen him crying out of stress .. i cant add up more to it.

He hasn't even graduated yet for fucks sake. I can't dump up more unwanted responsibilities on him.. that he didn't even ask for." He argued with himself .. his voice echoing in the empty bathroom.

"This isn't even about me .. i can't do this to taehyung. He is too young to be a father.. he isn't ready for that yet.

He has much more things to care about other than an unplanned child." Jungkook blurted as so many thoughts crossed his mind.

One of them being ...

"Ab-abortion... I am around 7 weeks in.. that is possible. It would remove any traces of the child... But..

I can't do that.. i- i don't want to. B-but .. if taehyung w-wants me to do that i w-will do it.

I can't f-force him to ac-accept the child. " He spoke biting his bottom lip harshly .. almost drawing out blood to stop the wails that weren't stopping.

"But Wh-what if the same thing happened ag-again?

What if ..-if i m- miscarriage again.. no no no.. i can't go through that again.

No-no... Why am I even thinking of that.. no th-that won't happen again. " He chuckled bitterly shaking his head and patting his chest that hurt for some unknown reason.

"It won't happen again... I will take care of myself." He assured himself wiping his cheeks that were warm and drenched in tears because  of crying.

"But i took care of myself before as well.. yet it happened more than once.. what if.." he felt chills down his spine as that thought crosses his mind.

"NO! NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN.. nothing would happen..." He yelled being so frustrated as he threw the tests away and gripped his hair in his hand harshly pulling on them like a madman.

"WHY ME! WHY CANT I BE HAPPY FOR ONCE? WHY IT HAD TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW.. " he screamed hitting his head repeatedly.

"FUCKING KILL ME .. I CANT FUCKING LIVE LIKE THIS .. AGGGHHHH" he screamed again as his body shook violently.