The Princess and the Pee Pee
Once upon a time there was a handsome yet frustrated king. His wife, the queen, had decided to go back to work as a warrior. This saddened the king. Not that he feared for his wife's life on the battlefield but because now he was solely responsible for potty training their daughter. Their daughter, Princess Skyler Rose was magnificentl. She had hair the color and texture of a peach rosebud, eyes that matched a clear summer sky and a smile that could melt the heart of a fierce enemy. Although this filled the king's heart with great joy it also filled him with deep sorrow. For you see, at two and a half Princess Skyler Rose was still not potty trained.
The king wondered, "Would the people be able to look up to a ruler who piddled in her panties?" He knew the answer would be a resounding, "No."
Troubled, the king called for all of the wisest women and men of the kingdom. "Fellow citizens I set before you an enormous task. As many of you may know Princess Skyler Rose is not yet potty trained."
The people gasped in horror.
The King commanded, "This predicament must be solved by her 3rd birthday. To the one who solves this dilemma I will allow him or her to sit on my royal throne, wear my royal crown and hold my royal scepter for an entire week." As it so happened the king was in dire need of a vacation anyway.
Since wise people rarely waste time they began their task at once. The first, a round jolly jeweler brought in an ornate little potty. It was laced in gold and covered in diamonds, rubies and emeralds. "Surely the princess will want to sit on this potty," he said. "The reason she isn't yet potty trained is because she needs a potty fit for a princess."
Immediately the princess climbed upon her royal throne and sat down but all of the pointy gems made it quite uncomfortable. From then on Princess Skyler used it as a fancy toybox.
A kindly older seamstress entered the palace next. She explained to the king, "The reason your daughter is not yet potty trained is because the seat on her roay potty is too hard and cold. I've fashioned her a potty out of soft, intricate embroidered pillows. Princess Skyler Rose, having missed her afternoon nap, curled up on the fluffy potty and at once fell asleep.
After the princess's nap the best inventor in the kingdom arrived. "Surely," thought the king, "this is the person for the job."
The inventor explained. "This potty is unlike any other. When the princess... uh... relieves herself the potty will magically play a tune."
To test the potty the king placed Princess Skyler Rose upon the tiny toilet and poured a cup of water into the well. Sure enough it worked! LOUDLY! Twinkle twinkle little star! It frightened the small princess and made her cry. The wise inventor spent two days in the royal dungeon.
Next the ring leader from the Royal Circus rode in sitting atop of the world's tallest unicycle. She figured since she had taught all sorts of acrobats to do all sorts of tricks, certainly she could teach one wee little princess to use her potty. Likewise the director from the Royal Opera Academy came. He thought, "I have trained the most beautiful voices in the entire kingdom. How hard could it be to potty train a perfect little princess?" Although neither were successful in potty training Princess Skyler Rose to this day she can still balance a ball on the end of her perfect little nose while hitting a high C.
It continued like this for days. The wisest most thoughtful people came, bringing with them all sorts of lever ideas, but nothing worked.
One day a village boy named Weatherbee came to the castle for a play day with Princess Skyler Rose. Now Weatherbee was only five but he happened to be precocious and intuitive. Noticing the King's demeanor he asked, "What's wrong your Majesty?"
"It's Princess Skyler Rose," sighed the King.
"What is it? Has she got a cold?" sniffed the boy.
"No," replied the King. "She's still not potty trained."
"Of course she isn't," remarked Weatherbee. "She's still wearing those silly diapers. Did ya expect her to take 'em off herself?"
Suddenly the king jumped up from his throne. Realizing his error he rang his royal bell and shouted, "Someone get my daughter some princess worthy--yet comfortable panties!"
From that day forward Princess Skyler Rose never wore a diaper again. Since everyone knows princesses dislike being soiled or wet she continued using her sensible potty regularly and with much success.
As for Weatherbe, not only did he get to be king for a week but when he grew up he had the honor of marrying Princess Skyler Rose. They had many well potty trained children and ruled together with happy fair hearts.
The obvious moral of the story is: You may well have the latest in potty gadgetry but as long as your children are still wearing a diaper that is where they will choose to go.
VOUS LISEZ
Pee Pee Poo Poo & Other Fairy Tales
Non-Fiction(How to Potty Train Your Child in a Week) I have successfully potty trained seven children. I learned a lot on my first child. I did a lot of things out of order. If you'd like to learn from my mistakes and be able to potty train your toddler in a...
