Lexi's Final Year

Chapter 32

During today's lunch hangout, Cassie was nowhere near as nervous as she had been the last few times they had happened. She had entered The Bean's Knees with her nerves intact and her head in a good place.

But when she realized that the first people who had arrived were Lexi and Isaac, she had froze in place. Things had been fine between the three of them recently, albeit a bit awkward. She always made sure to choose her words carefully when speaking to either of them. Their conversations always turned out pleasant, much to Cassie's relief.

Yet despite this positive development, she couldn't help but wonder what Lexi and Isaac thought about her these days. She tried to not let that worry eat away at her, but she couldn't help it. Even as she made small talk with them prior to the others arriving at the hangout, those feelings resurfaced once again.

There's no point in worrying when it won't do me any good, she had thought once their remaining friends began showing up. She pushed any worries out of her mind to focus on the conversation at hand.

When lunch finally ended, Cassie said goodbye before getting up from her seat. All she wanted to do was head home and work on a couple of unfinished assignments in peace.

"Cassie, may I please talk to you?"

Cassie jumped, having not expected anyone to approach her. She had finished throwing away what was left of her lunch and was now about to leave The Bean's Knees. The last thing she expected was for Lexi to run up and ask to speak with her.

"Right now?"

"I wouldn't normally ask that 'cause I know you may be busy...but yes, right now," Lexi insisted.

"Yeah, sure," Cassie replied. "What's up?"

Lexi took a deep breath before speaking. "Ever since we had that big heart-to-heart back in January, I've thought a lot about everything you've said."

"You have?"

"Yeah. I've mulled it over more than I care to admit," Lexi said with a shaky laugh. "I saw how sincere you were when you apologized, and I could tell that you felt truly awful about everything you did."

Cassie bit her lip, unsure of where this was going. "I still feel that way, you know."

"I know you do," Lexi replied, "and I know you've been trying to gain my trust and make things right all year. And I appreciate it, Cassie. It means a lot to me."

"Of course. I don't want there to be drama any more than you do, Lexi. When I think about it— all the times I ever hurt or upset you— it honestly makes me sick to my stomach. I hate how I treated you."

"I understand, really. It's just...I didn't know if I could ever find it in myself to forgive you for your past behaviour. All the awful things you ever said and did to me over the past few years...they really fucked with me. They hurt me in more ways than one. I know I've already told you all this before, but I just want to be clear."

Cassie nodded slowly, glancing down at the ground. Hearing how badly she had hurt Lexi made her heart sink further.

"I know nothing I say or do will ever fix that," she interjected in a crestfallen voice. She looked back up, expecting to see Lexi glaring at her. Instead, her facial expression remained neutral.

"Are you okay?"

Cassie's sigh was hollow. "I just feel bad about everything, that's all. I know I've said it so many times, but I just... Ugh, I don't know. I'm sorry for interrupting. Go ahead."

"Don't worry about it," Lexi said with a gentle smile. "You don't need to keep explaining yourself or apologizing, okay? I know you mean it. I also acknowledge how good things have been between us now. We've been getting along well since that heart-to-heart. At least, I think so."