Sometimes Forever Isnt Always Forever.

Sometimes When You think its Over, Its not always Over.

He finally made arrangements to pick up some of his things. Seeing him in person was harder than I had prepared myself for. I wanted to grab him and never let him go, but at the same time, I wanted to kill him. He had cheated on me, betrayed me, and humiliated me. I remember sitting on the couch with him as he took a break from packing his stuff. I was looking over at him and the way he looked at me made me want to grab him and kiss him. It was almost like he read my mind because at that exact moment he grabbed me. We had one last night together and then he was gone.

I was receiving hate mail from other girls that were supposed to be mutual friends. I had hate mail from his family. I had hate mail from random people that I didn't even know existed telling me how they were happy we were over and how he deserved someone else.. someone prettier. I just wanted him and all of them out of my life.

I decided to move into my parents house, I couldn't live at our house alone any longer and I wasn't working enough hours to pay all of the bills. I packed up our three pets and back home I went. My relationship with my parents was improving and returning to normal again and I was happy. I got a job working at a coffee shop, and I spent my time making new friends and working.

Over the course of the next several months I started learning the truth about my relationship with Ben. I learned that he was hardly faithful throughout the majority of the final years. I learned that he lied to me and stabbed me in the back more times that anyone else has in my life. He never applied for one job, he didn't even keep the resume I made for him.

Lets skip ahead some more.... Ben and I have now been broken up for almost 5 years. I got over him. Turns out, he just wasn't worth my time all along. I'm disappointed that I wasted so many good years on him. I'm upset that I went to prom alone when I could've gone with someone who truly wanted to go with me. I hate that our relationship took such a turn that we raised our fists at each other. When I thought I was going to die because I lost him, I was so wrong. It is probably the most wrong I have ever been in my life. He is no better off now than he was 5 years ago but I am so much better off now without him. I thought everything was over, and I'm so glad it wasn't because it brought me to so many better things.

Sometimes when you think its over, its not always over.