Anna Sun

Chapter Four.

I always thought of myself as a rule follower. I mean, I really am one. My whole life, I've been shamed for doing the right thing and being too much of a "good girl". I was always insecure about it. I hated myself for it. Then came Brooks. Being the same way as me, I knew there was nothing to feel bad about. In fact, he made me feel better about it. It was nice to have a friend. We kept each other out of serious trouble, but we always were down to get back at our brothers for something. It's funny, how life works out; how it gives you people just when you need them.

My whole life, I always thought I needed somebody. And I did—and it was Brooks.

No matter how long I go without seeing or talking to him, everything will always come back to him. It's embarrassing to say out loud, so I never will. But, in my head and my heart, I know it to be true. He will always be a part of me, even though he's only ever been in my life at a distance. And in between us was always Noah or some other guy I could never compete with.

To Brooks, I was his best friend's sister. But to me, he was the only guy I've ever really wanted. Like, truly.

"Anna, what about him?" Alexa points to a tall brunette walking into the gym. I shake my head and remain silent. No matter how hard she tries, my mind will never change. Like I said, it's embarrassing. I mean, how could I possibly have my heart set on a guy who I've never been involved with romantically? It's strictly platonic, but I know I'm not crazy to think it could be more—to know it could be more.

This was the first time I knew it wasn't all in my head. Up until this point, he was a fantasy. But this summer I can feel it—it truly is real.

The gym is my safe place. It has been since I could remember. It's funny, though, because when I first started going to the gym, it was to see him. I enjoyed every little "hey" and ate it up every single time. It meant he acknowledged my presence and that I am in fact, a real human being. From that point on, I became my own individual in his eyes. I was no longer Noah's little sister—I was Anna McKay.

After a rigorous leg day, I toss my body into my Jeep and make my way back home. Summer, I think to myself. It's finally here. As I approach the red light a few roads down from my street, a grey Jeep pulls up next to mine. "Brooks?" I say in shock. "Hey, sunshine," he winks at me with a bright smile. Call me crazy, but I think he might've just gotten hotter. I mean, if that's even possible.

"Where are you going in your new ride?" I ask out of curiosity. He shrugs his shoulders. "Nowhere to go. You?" he flicks his eyes back to the red light. "Home," I brush my hair out of my face. The top is off of both of our cars. "Meet you there," he says as he turns right on red. "Well, I guess he isn't one to ask for permission," Alexa happily shakes her head. I pridefully smile, not knowing if he was serious or not. I guess there's only one way to find out.

The light turns green and I rush home. I have got to get out of these clothes, I think as I rummage through my drawers. I grab a pair of my favorite jean shorts and a crochet tank top. Considering it's 80 degrees and not even 2 o'clock, I decide to skip out on a jacket. I won't need it.

I put my favorite hair coil on my wrist to pair with the pura vida bracelets I always have on. As I walk downstairs, anticipating his arrival, Noah comes through the door. "Brooks is waiting for you," he tosses his Titleist hat on the dining room table. "For God knows what reason," he rolls his eyes and walks up stairs. I grab my wallet and my keys and head towards the door. "Hey sis?" he calls out from behind me. I turn around and raise my eyebrows. "Have fun."

I'm not sure if this was his way of saying he approves of whatever I was going to do, but nevertheless, it was a good thing. "Thank you, I will," I turn the door knob and open it to meet face-to-face with him. "Hey," he lightly speaks out as he plays with his keys in his hand. "Hey," I smile as he steps out of the way. "Shall we?"