Chapter One.

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The beginning

Everytime I thought of summer, it felt like a dream. The warmth of the sun and the sweet sound of cicadas was all I ever longed for. Somehow, no matter how bad life was, it was never truly bad during the peak of summer. June was always the month of new adventures and new friendships. Whether they lasted or not, it was always worth it. Transitioning to July was always flawless. July was where the boys came, every single year. It's funny, you know—every fourth of July some revolutionary event happens to me that ignites a fire in my soul. Well, I like to think so anyways. And finally, that leaves August. Every year, the month seems to slip away, just like my happiness. As time advances, my days become filled with books that I reluctantly pick up. I adore reading, but mainly fiction. Math equations begin to take up brain storage and history dates preoccupy the timeline in my head that once belonged to summer. The transition, while always seamless, is the thing I dread most in life.

Well, it was anyways.

Now, I think the thing I dread the most is not even a thing, but instead a person. The past two summers have been filled with the same boy. The same boy who annoys me to the point where I question my own sanity. The same boy who I long to see wherever I go. The same boy I've known my whole life, and the same one I've loved since I could remember. For me, it was always going to be him.

Brooks Kowal.

Our families have been friends since before I was even born. Now, they weren't super close to the point that we were crib-side as infants, but I guess they enjoyed each other's company considering we were always at each other's birthday parties and sporting events. It's not like that anymore. Our parents eventually stopped taking initiative; instead, us kids took it into our own hands. I'll never forget the first time he wanted to spend time with me.

Okay, this might've taken a few years to happen, but nevertheless, it finally did. It was the summer I turned fifteen. This was the first summer I felt visible to him and appeared out of the shadow that was casted by my older brother. My brother, Noah, and him have always been close. They were inseparable to the point where there was never any room for me—just them. Until that fourth of July, where I had finally earned a spot in his life.

"Wanna come golfing with us, Anna?" The conversation remains tattooed in my brain. I remember everything. "Sure," I said nonchalantly, even though I was internally screaming. I vividly remember his smug smirk and the way he signaled me to gather my belongings and pack up the car. I remember how much fun I had with him, talking about life and lightly joking. The way we laughed plays on repeat on days like today. Days where he's not here.

The school bell disrupts my thoughts as I transition to my last class of the year. Though we haven't spoken in months, I know this will be the summer that changes everything. I just know it.

"Finally," Delaney tosses her book bag in the back seat of my Jeep. "Junior year was hell on Earth," she says as she kicks her feet up on my dashboard. Instead of saying anything, I give her the death stare. "Oh, sorry," she apologizes as she puts them down. Delaney is my best friend who moved from Buffalo. She's been at my side since freshman year. The back door flings open as the tiny framed body struggles to climb up my lifted vehicle. "Well, what are you waiting for? Are we seriously going to waste the first moments of our summer sitting at this dump?" my younger sister's fiery personality spits out. My built-in-best friend, Alexa, is truly my other half. Without one, the other does not exist with purpose. It always has been that way, and it always will be. I put my car in drive and whip out of the parking lot for the last time until August. "I will not miss this place," I chuckle as I catch a glimpse of the building in my rearview mirror.

Anna Sun by WALK THE MOON blares through the speakers as wind fills the vehicle. Having the top off of my Jeep is responsible for one of my favorite feelings. It represents summer, and the freedom and warmth that comes with it. My serotonin levels are record high right now. "This is your song," Delaney elbows me and winks. "Yeah, yeah," I roll my eyes as the memory comes flooding back into my mind. There was never much purpose to anything unless it involved him.

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