Sometimes Forever Isnt Always Forever.

Infatuation defamation.

School seemed to drag by, every month it was harder and harder to find time to see Ben. A new school year started and while I desperately wanted to see him when I had the chance, he had better things to do (usually with Michelle). We were only 16, and somehow I found myself knee deep in the relationship drama of an adult.

Ben was driving me away. I was meeting other people. People that I saw happiness in. When I looked into their eyes I saw what I wanted. I almost broke up with Ben a couple of times, but I didn't have the guts.

Grade eleven had found us and while our fighting was dragging us apart, we were still struggling for the strength to pull ourselves back together. Ben used to point the finger at me for all of our problems. Perhaps it was the time and effort I put into the relationship or perhaps it was just my sheer stubbornness but there was something that was driving me to refuse to give up on our relationship. It meant too much to me.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. My 16th year came crashing down around me. My best friend, my confidant...my grandpa had passed away. He battled cancer for a couple of years and the disease stole him away from me shortly after New Years of 2007. I very strongly remember my dad waking me up to tell me the news, and that he called in to work for me so I could stay home with them for a few days.

I just remember being furious with my father. Furious that he would call work and have me stay home. Furious that he would tell me that my grandpa was gone. Furious at the world for cancer even being a thing. I got up out of bed, got dressed and marched my stubborn self to work anyways. I lived a few short blocks from the coffee shop I worked at. It was inside another store where some of my friends worked. I thought being distracted by business and friends would help me cope with the news. I was so horribly wrong. I ended up leaving work anyways because the reality of the situation hit me like a firetruck in the middle of trying to function.

It wasn't long after this that I moved to live with my grandma. She was left behind, being almost 1000km away from us and she needed me. I completed grade 11 with her, and she was nice enough to fly Ben out to visit me a couple of times.

We had been together for a year now, and while we were spending less time together we were somehow managing to keep our relationship alive. Once I finished grade 11 I made the decision to move back home. I went back to my old school with my old friends and started my final year of high school. I had a new job and my parents were starting to be more open with the idea of dating or at least hanging out with boys. I tested the theory out several times with a friend of mine, Jason. I used to ask my dad if we could hang out and he was okay with it. It was the first time my parents allowed me to hang out with a boy.

My parents still didn't approve of Ben, however, and I'm pretty sure they were under the impression that he and I were just friends at this point. It took me several months but I worked up the courage to ask my dad if Ben could escort me to my prom and he said "maybe". I was so over the moon ecstatic that my dad would even give him a chance! My dad, the stubborn man who normally would've shot me down instantaneously! I was so excited to tell Ben the great news!

I remember sending him a message online asking if he wanted to come to my prom with me. I was expecting the obvious "yes" from him but after a long drawn out silence on his end he said he didn't think he wanted to go at all. Ben told me that because he didn't like my parents he didn't want to go with me. Why was that my fault? I am not my parents. I am me. You should want to go to my ONCE in a lifetime event to celebrate it with me. A fight ensued and we didn't speak for a few days. About three days later there was a random knock at my door. Ben had his mom drive to my house to apologize to me. Ben knew this was a terrible idea, being that he was already on thin ice with my dad and showing up unexpectedly at the door was probably just asking for trouble.