Splatoon 2: Into the Light

Day 35: The Fourth and Final Thang!

I finally found the fourth thang. I also completed all of the tests and got most of my memories back. I still don't know where nor who my father is, but I do know who my mother is. I was just about to agree to go to the promised land when my inkling friend finally returned my calls! Here's what went down.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Agent 8! Is that you?"

"Yes, I'm at the central station, why?"

"I found some more information for you. Hidden in one of the file cabinets in the security office were blueprints. I can't read the text, but they look like the 'Thangs' you've been collecting. They seem to be put together to create something that looks like a massive blender. You don't want to go in there, it appears like it will kill you and Cap'n Cuttlefish. Do not go in. I'm going to try to reach your location."

"Erm..." a cold sweat dripped down my brow, "What do you look like?"

"I'm an inkling boy with blue eyes and green tentacles. I've got light tan skin. Give me a few minutes and I'll be down there as fast as I can."

"Hol' up... Agent 3, by any chance?"

"How'd you—?"

"You know Cap'n Cuttlefish, and you fit the description Cap'n and I put together. Blue eyes, green tentacles, tan skin, male. You get the picture."

"For that to have applied... you speak Inkling and Octarian... then you must've been— You're the Octoling I was battling right before this whole fiasco started, aren't you?"

"I am."

"Hold on, I don't want to be seen or heard as I'm making my way down. We're pretty damn far underwater off the coast of Inkopolis, getting back to land's gonna be a hoot."

"How far?"

"Well, we're about thirty nautical miles from the shoreline, and well over 100 fathoms under the sea. A fathom is about six feet, so we're about 600 feet underwater."

"Yeah, oughta be a hoot getting back to land," I agreed. The next thing I knew, I heard the sound of a Hero Shot firing. I semi-panicked and looked around before I realized they were coming from my CQ-80. C.Q. Cumber came out of the train to see what was going on, followed by Iso Padre, who'd become a friend and a person to talk to. He gave me gear to use when I finally escaped the facility and reached the surface. Cap'n Cuttlefish and Off the Hook (Pearl and Marina) had to explain what was going on.

I heard Agent 3 cry, "Oh shit!" His clothes rustled and his Hero Shot fired some more. I heard the ripple of ink as he swam through it.

"What's the matter?"

"I've been spotted! Sanitized Octarians are pouring in from all around." Before long, the line went dead and I couldn't tell what was going on.

"Agent 8, are you sure that's Agent 3 you were talking to?"

"Positive, even he confirmed it."

Glass shattered above me and rained down around us. Something weird was going on.

"Well...? Are you going to the promised land or not?" C.Q asked, urging me to take advantage of the opportunity.

"I don't think the Thangs will take me to the promised land," I said. I then pointed to the opening in the glass above me. "But that will."

"What?"

"The promised land in Octarian culture is the equivalent of heaven in ancient human culture. In other words, to reach it you have to die. Agent 3 told me that he found blueprints for the Thangs in the security office he was working at, and that when they're fully assembled they form into a massive blender. Given the size of the Thangs, it's easily large enough to fit both Cap'n Cuttlefish and myself inside. If the promised land was the surface, the blender would be redundant and there would've been a blocked escape route. The Denizens of the Deep would be able to move freely between the deepsea and the surface if biologically able to."