♡Strange emotions | Kamukoma | FINISHED♡

26 | Fear

TW: Panic attacks. I'll put a warning for when it happens and when it's over.

Komaeda practically jumped off of Kamukura.

"I-I can leave if you guys want me to," Souda nervously offered.

Kamukura shot him a glare and, if looks could kill, he would have been dead meat.

Komaeda sighed. "No, that's fine. What were you gonna say?"

"My mom said I can stay here until the storm dies down. She said she doesn't want me getting hurt, so it's too dangerous to go out,"

Komaeda nodded. "Okay! Kamukura-kun, what about you? You should ask your parents too,"

"I don't live with my parents anymore,"

"I see." He got up. "I'm kind of hungry now. I'm gonna go make lunch, okay?"
He was about to leave, but Kamukura spoke up. "I can do that,"

"Ah, really? You're the best!" Komaeda smiled, clapping his hands together.

Kamukura said it was no problem and he went to the kitchen.

Souda sat down on Komaeda's bed and looked at his best friend.

"You and Kamukura were about to make out, eh?" He teased.

"We were not!" Komaeda let himself fall onto his bed, next to Souda. "Making out... that's overexaggerating..."

"You're acting like it'd be your first time. You and Hinata did kiss a lot,"

"B-but... I wouldn't say we made out," Komaeda argued.

"Wait... did the both of you never, like-"

Komaeda shot him a death glare. "Don't finish that sentence!"

"-hold hands?" Souda smirked. "What did you think I was gonna say?" He teased.

"Nothing!" Komaeda huffed, crossing his arms.

"Wow, to think you'd have such a dirty mind. My God, Komaeda!" Souda snickered.

Komaeda's cheeks turned red. "Sh-shut up!"

Souda laughed.

"Souda-kun..?" Komaeda asked, sounding serious this time.

"Mhm?"

"Do you... do you think it would be a good idea to be with Kamukura-kun?"

"Do what you think is right,"

Komaeda sighed. "But I don't know what I think is right!"

"I don't know either,"

Kamukura called them downstairs as he was done cooking. The food smelled great.

"This is awesome, Kamukura-kun!"

"Thank you,"

Komaeda looked at the other man. He... looked nice. Komaeda's cheeks heated up. He shouldn't think like that!

Just then, thunder striked again.

"Eeeek!" Komaeda yelped.

Souda laughed. "I love you, man, but I can't take you seriously when you scream like that!"

"It's not my fault!" Komaeda glared at him.

Then, it got really bad. It began hailing.

⚠️ TW: panic attack ⚠️

Komaeda stayed surprisingly quiet though. He only ducked his head down and began trembling.

"Komaeda," Kamukura said. "Are you alright?"

Komaeda shook his head. "I-I'm gonna die..."

"Huh?! Dude, it's just a bit of rain," Souda said.

Kamukura rushed towards him and gently put a hand on his chest and throat.

"His pulse is speeding up, his breath is getting short." He put a hand on his forehead. "He's sweating and trembling. Komaeda, can you hear me?"

"M-mhm..."

"I think you might be having a panic attack. Don't worry, we'll get through this," He assured him. "Calm your breathing,"

Komaeda screamed out again when thunder bolted. He fell backwards off his chair.

Souda rushed to help him up. "S-Soul bro? What do we do?" He looked at Kamukura.

"Komaeda, can I touch you?"

The trembling boy nodded and got pulled into a hug. Kamukura rocked back and forth with him in his arms.

Komaeda seemed to relax at that and he stopped trembling.

Kamukura gently stroked his hair until he was completely calm.

"Thank you..."

⚠️ Tw over ⚠️

"Wh-what was that?" Souda asked.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Souda-kun," Komaeda apologized. "It happens sometimes,"

"Don't apologize. Panic attacks are common for people with PTSD," Kamukura explained, letting go of the other boy.

Komaeda gave him a puzzled stare. "PT... SD? I don't... have that,"

"You might not have a diagnosis, but I am certain you must have gotten some damage from all your trauma,"

Komaeda chuckled. "Trauma? That's a big word. I don't have trauma, just some bad luck,"

Kamukura frowned. "You saw your parents die, you saw your dog die, you got kidnapped and your boyfriend died,"

"When you say it like that, it sounds worse than it is," Komaeda said. "I'm fine, really, I just... I was stressed. I don't like loud noises,"

"But why not?" Souda asked. "I'm... not an expert like Kamukura, but it might have something to do with your past, Ko,"

Komaeda looked at the floor. "I don't like loud noises, because... Yelling and screaming is loud and... orphanages are noisy," His voice got sad again. "It's loud when... many people ask questions... you know, stuff like that,"

Souda furrowed his eyebrows. "You're getting sad again. Let's change the topic,"

Komaeda smiled. "Mhm!" He stood up. "I'm getting bored of this!" He pulled Souda up by his arm.

"Souda-kun! Let's watch a movie again! That helped me when I was sad before,"

They all gathered on the couch and turned on the TV. It was late and they were tired already.

Komaeda leaned on Kamukura's chest, eyes half-lidded. Eventually, Kamukura fell asleep and was laying down with Komaeda still on his chest.

Before Souda fell asleep too, he took a picture. "Y'all still look gay,"