♡Strange emotions | Kamukoma | FINISHED♡

22 | Move on

Im not done with this story yet after all

I am so so sorry i forgot to add a TW for su1cidal/intrusive thoughts

"So? Are you and Kamukura a couple now or not?" Souda asked.

Komaeda shook his head. "No, we're not,"

"You sure? It seemed like it from what Kamukura told me,"

"We're not together," Komaeda insisted. "That... I can't do that yet,"

"Ugh, look, man, you're my best friend. I want the best for you, but you have to move on at some point,"

Komaeda glared at him. "It's not easy to forget about someone you've know and loved since you were a child, you know? If I'm not ready to move on, I won't,"

Souda sighed and pat his shoulder. "If that's what you think is best, I
won't stop you, man." With that, he left to go to his dorm.

Komaeda looked at the reserve course building. He walked to Hinata's classroom to water the flower on his desk. Nobody else did that.

His classroom was empty. Komaeda filled a cup with water and put it inside the vase.

Hinata's desk was dusty. He picked up the vase and cleaned it up with his sleeve.

"Hey, kid,"

Komaeda jumped at the sudden voice.

"You gotta leave. I have to lock the classrooms," In the doorway, there stood the janitor.

"Y-yeah... have a nice day." Komaeda quickly left.

He felt bad. He'd promised Kamukura he'd think about dating him, but he didn't want to. He didn't want to be with anyone else. They'd just die anyway.

He crossed the road.
"Watch out!" Somebody screamed. Then, Komaeda felt himself getting picked up by someone.

When he opened his eyes again, he was on the other side of the road. The person who'd picked him up was Kamukura.

Oh. He'd saved him from getting hit by a car.

"Thank you." Komaeda got up and dusted himself off.

"No problem. Would you like to hang out today?"

"No, sorry. I was actually gonna go to the graveyard now,"

Kamukura nodded. "Very well,"

Soon enough, Komaeda went there. He sat in front of Hinata's grave.

"I know I have to move on. Souda-kun is right. It's just... so hard. I didn't even get to say goodbye, you know? If I could just talk to you... one last time," He said. "Then it might be easier,"

He closed his eyes. "If I could've just stopped time when you were still alive. If you just... wouldn't have died, everything would be so much better. I-I miss you. Everyday I miss you more." He chuckled.

"You'd think with all the time that's passed, it would get easier to move on,"

Komaeda took a deep breath. "Sometimes... I wish I could be with you. I know it's not right. I should think like that again, but... I just... don't see the point in... ugh, whatever."

He got up. "Sorry for annoying you all the time, Hajime,"

After he was done with that, he left.

Komaeda was tired when he arrived. He'd been feeling a lot worse than usual lately. Even Yukizome had talked to him about it.

He was constantly tired and never felt excited anymore. He felt so... dead. Sometimes, he felt like being dead would be better.

Komaeda decided to take a nap. He had a nightmare.
He was in school and sat down at his desk.

"Good morning, Kamukura-kun," He said.

"Shut up,"

"Oh... sorry,"

"God, you're boring. I don't even love you anymore!"

Komaeda's eyes widened.

"He's right!" Souda agreed. "You only ever talk about Hinata! It's so
depressing! You're no fun anymore!" He yelled.

"I-I'm sorry!"

"Just shut up!" They yelled in sync. "Nobody's interested in a boring, depressed, unfocused and worthless person like you! Just die already!"

Komaeda woke up in a cols sweat the next morning. He gulped.

Oh God... what if Souda and Kamukura really felt like that about him? He had to talk to them!