Strings

Chapter 36

"Skye-

"I know you don't believe in love; and for the longest time you really haven't.
Far too long, if you ask me.
What happened with-" her voice breaks and she turns away for a second before looking back at me.
"What happened with Nora, that- that wasn't love; and it pains me to see that you've lived all this time, believing that to be what love truly is, making that to be your idea, your picture of what love is and what it does to people.
That's not what she would've wanted for anyone, let alone the either of us.
I used to think that you're doing a lot for Avery but seeing you these last few days, seeing how you have started smiling more often, laughing more frequently, loving more openly, without even knowing that you are, It's like-"

A lone tear slides down her face.

"It's like Avery brought my brother back home. And for that reason I'll forever be indebted to her.
You're finally living the life I'd hoped you will be lucky enough to be blessed with.
And I know if she were here too, she would be just as much of a mushy mess as I've become right now." She says laughing softly.

I find myself robbed of words as Skylar shuffles in front of me. Gathering her things she proceeds to leave but stops by the door to give me one last look before she leaves.

"Love gloriously, Hayden. Love fearlessly. Love on the good days and on the bad days. Just- just love.
It's all that we are and all that we can ever hope to be."

I sit there stunned, watching her leave. I watch her walk over to where Avery was standing and I watch Avery's face light up. A genuine smile. She hugs Skye and they chat for a while, catching up with each other. I watch Avery as Skye tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear and I see her smile graciously in response. I watch as she shakes her head at something Skye says and I watch her show her files to Skylar. I watch her as they discuss whatever it is that they're discussing and I could not, for the life of me, possibly bring myself to look away from her. 

I close my eyes, and the haunting memory of my sister creeps up to me. Her vacant face and empty eyes as she jumps off. She was dead long before she killed herself.
I open my eyes and see Avery in my line of sight. She's here. She's smiling and she's full of life. She has goodness and heart and purity and soul. She makes me want to live. And the thought of ever having to live without her makes my fucking skin crawl.

An unfamiliar uneasiness settles in my chest as I can't bring myself to look away from Avery. When I do, the haunting memory of mum showing us Nora's letter comes to mind, the days of anger and anguish and loss and sheer sheer pain comes forth of trying to understand, to find answers, of looking far and wide for a sister long gone cold under the ground.
Of having to settle with memories forever tainted and having to come to terms with the fact that my older sister would never return.

The overpowering waves of pain that I was under the impression, I'd done a great job of keeping them at bay, had begun crashing and soaring repeatedly at my shore and the only thing, the only thing, that prevented hell to rain over my world was that I could open my eyes right now, right this very second and I'll find Avery in my line of sight.

Opening my eyes, I find myself going nearly breathless when I don't see Avery around.
Where the fuck did she go?

Hurrying out of my seat, I find myself in a frenzy of confusion and what? is this panic? as I look around for Avery. I look around from where she was standing and after not finding her anywhere around I rush into her office and physically heave a sigh of relief as I see her sitting behind her desk, working.

Her eyes widen as big as saucers as she stares at me, who all but barged straight into her office like a man who's completely lost his shit. I couldn't care about that. At least not right now. Somehow the consciousness of standing so disheveled and uncomposed in front of someone else, for the first time in my entire life was not getting to me as it would have at any other time. Fuck, at any other time, I wouldn't have lost my shit like this either.

Avery leaps out of her seat as she darts towards me immediately in what seems like less than a second, visibly worried, her eyebrows furrowed together adorably as she cups my face with her hands, anxiously asking me what's wrong, what happened and a gazillion other things.

Not registering a single of her many many anxious questions, I relish in the feeling of contact, of her skin against mine, her soft hands resting on the sides of my face and not being able to hold it off for any longer I yank her closer, my arms finally at home around her waist, and her mouth falls slightly agape at the action; her beautiful beautiful scent infiltrates my system and I feel my insides calm down steadily. I lean into her hands against the side of my face, cupping me and rest my forehead against hers.

She doesn't ask me anything else further as she lets me relish into the feeling of being so close to her, of holding her and being held by her, as she too eases into the moment, and I am finally able to get head of my nerves, who have long been calmed down, and my breathing now completely steady and normal.

She's here, Avery's here. My Avery.

My heart beat picks up again upon a certain realization, but its isn't a bad thing this time. At least I hope so. Relief floods into my body as Avery stands on her tiptoes and removes her hands from the sides of my face only to immediately replace her arms over my shoulders, and I can't remember a time where I felt more content as Avery continues to hug me tightly snuggling into my neck as my hold around her waist increases, promising myself to never ever let go and silently hoping with every single fiber of my being that she won't either.

Fuck.

I am hopelessly, completely, irretrievably, overwhelmingly in love with her.

***

HII GUYSSSS!!!!

Here's this week's updates that gave me ALL THE FEELS ( and I mean every single one of them)

*Cries in single*

Anywaysss, throwing just another reminder in here that Strings will be completed soon and it is a surreal form of realization for me, from righting the very first chapter to writing this. Thank you so much again, for pouring and sharing your love of Avery and Hayden with me.

Continue voting, commenting and interacting with me as you have been from the very beginning. You already know it makes my whole day!!

Hang tight and See ya next week!

Love always! xxx