Control

26

After we returned home, life went back to normal. Or at least, our version of normal.

Work got busier, with more accounts being added to my roster. I ended up spending many long nights at work, getting home well after Aiden had gone to bed. If I did have the chance to leave work at a decent time, it usually meant bringing some work home with me and spending the short time after Aiden went to bed tucked away in the office off the kitchen pouring over files.

I kept thinking (when I had a moment to think) about what Dr. Hannam had said. That my brain, with its infinite possibilities, leant me the status of genius, in some terms. I knew that some things came easier to me than others, something that was evident from an early age. But I honestly had never really put much thought into why that was. I never actually thought that my brain was that much different from other peoples. Yes, I knew there had to be something extra, a little added quirk that afforded me the abilities that I had, but never did I think that it was any more than a glitch. It got me to wondering why I wasn‟t necessarily smarter than I was. Why I couldn‟t spout out anecdotes and recite Shakespear and those things associated with a genius mind. I will admit that I was vain enough to contact Dr. Hannam through an email, inquiring as much. His answer was simple: I hadn‟t learned that information. Since I hadn‟t been aware of the possibilities my mind held, I hadn‟t exposed it to the things that would broaden it. I studied the typical subjects in course with a typical life, and therefore, a typical mind. He assured me, if I exposed myself to further study, took the time to study Shakespear, or biophysics, or music, that I would retain and put the information to use at a greater scale than the average person.

Curiosity took me over, and in the few rare moments I was given, I began to broaden my mind. I read poetry, learned music, reviewed medical journals, and studied philosophy. I was surprised at how easy everything came to me. I was like a sponge, my memory seeming to expand exponentially with every new subject and topic I absorbed. I could recall with detailed clarity hundreds of pages of information. I learned how to play the piano in a month. I found myself able to take the new subjects and exposures I was allowing myself and apply them to my work, earning praise and notice from the presidents of my company. The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn.

It became somewhat of an obsession. Now that I knew what was different about me, I figured I may as well take advantage of it. If I could do all this, why wouldn‟t I? I began spending evenings studying new topics, reading through thick medical books in only a few days. Adyson voiced her concern over my new fixation, wondering if this „expansion‟ was such a good thing. In her mind, since the qualities of my brain were the trigger to my ailments, wouldn‟t activating them further just be provoking another episode? Deep down, I knew she was right, but for some reason, I would shush her concern and carry on. I felt like I was owed this, this ability to be the smart one, more so than I was in high school or university. It felt good to have this ability give me back something good, rather than always the strange or negative.

Spring slowly followed a cold and vicious winter, with summer blazing hot shortly after. That fall, Adyson had decided to get her master‟s degree in education, an endeavour I encouraged. She had always wanted to teach. My current salary had increased with another large raise (my theory was that my bosses didn‟t want to chance losing me to any of their competitors), Adyson was able to drop down to part time at the hospital, go to school part time for her degree and we were still able to live more than comfortably. Now it was both of us pouring over the books in the evening, while Aiden scuttled around the house, noisier than ever now that he had entered the „terrible twos‟.

As Halloween approached, Adyson was intent on finding a cute and unique costume for Aiden. He had been a pumpkin his first Halloween, and a chilli pepper the next. This year, she wanted something beyond the typical toddler costume. I wasn‟t quite prepared for what she came home with after her third shopping trip.