Control

23

After leaving Dr. Hannams office Adyson and I barely spoke as we navigated the busy city streets back to our hotel. We were both too enveloped in our own thoughts to share them with each other just yet, so we were both content to sit in silence and think.

I can‟t be sure what Adyson‟s thoughts were, but I can assume with some accuracy they followed a similar pattern to my own.

The first and most prominent thought in my mind was „What happens now?‟ although that I could answer with some certainty. Walter had set up a slew of tests for the following day, all of which were to take place at the NYU Medical Center. This made me nervous, automatically putting me on guard. If I was in a public place having these tests done, surely people would find out why. Walter assured me quickly, however, that everyone working with me was his own personal staff, and all of them had signed extremely strict confidentiality agreements. He also pointed out, yet again, that he had worked with many „special cases‟, and there was very little that surprised anyone on his payroll. This of course only raised more questions in my mind, most of which circulated around the question of „what other things has he seen?‟

Another, more pressing question was „Can they figure out why I can do this?‟ I knew the answer to that one with some certainty: no. They would have their ideas, their speculation. But it would be almost impossible to definitively answer the question of why I had this ability. This was fine with me, since I had long ago given up on finding that particular answer.

I didn‟t sleep much that night, feeling I was awake more than not. Morning came all too early, the light peaking in under the blackout curtains we had pulled the night before to keep the bright lights of the city at bay.

I climbed out of bed shortly before seven, padding across the carpet to the bathroom to shower and shave before my appointment at the hospital.

I took my time, being somewhat meticulous, although I wasn‟t sure why. It wasn‟t like having facial hair was going to make or break the progress we might make today.

When I finally came out of the bathroom, Adyson was awake, still lying in bed. I crawled back into the bed beside her, pulling her back to me and nuzzling her neck. She giggled, swatting me with her hand before turning to face me. Her expression was a mixture of concern, uncertainty, fear and anxiety. Basically everything I was feeling.

"It will be fine." I said, trying to reassure us both. "They‟re just doing a bunch of tests, and hopefully they‟ll be able to tell us something before we have to leave."

She nodded, unable to find actual words. She reached up and stroked my now smooth cheek, her eyes roaming my face as if trying to memorize me.

After a moment, I leaned forward quickly to kiss her nose, jumping out of the way as she again aimed a swat at my face, before climbing back out of bed and getting dressed.

Adyson stayed in the bed while I dressed, saying she was going to try and sleep more before hitting the city. I knew it was unlikely that she would sleep more, her nerves were evident all over her, but I accepted her fib with no challenge.

I took a cab to the hospital, not wanting to brave the city traffic in my own car yet again. I made it there with twenty minutes to spare before my appointment. I handed the driver a twenty, climbed out and stared at the building in front of me.

The tall structure looked like a mixture of hospital and apartment building, with glass windows climbing up the entire front face. The East River skirted in the distance, and for some reason I thought that the effect would be calming if staring out from one of the high windows. People were bustling in and out of the doors, some in scrubs, some in business suits. Most were dressed like I was; ready to brave the cold.

With a sigh of resignation, I pushed through the glass doors and into the front lobby. It took me a while to find my way, but eventually I reached a small waiting room with what appeared to be a nurse‟s station on the one side, preceding a long hallway of doors. I could hear muffled chatter, and the whir of machines I couldn‟t see. There were a few other people in the waiting room, and after checking in with the nurse at the desk, I took a seat in a chair farthest from the other patients, and stared out the window at the city below.

A surprisingly short time later, Dr Hannam, stepped out into the waiting room, beckoning me to follow him. I stood, noticing only then that my knees felt slightly weak. I hoped that it was the nerves and that I wasn‟t about to have an episode right here in the waiting room.

I followed him to the first door on the left, taking a seat in the chair he pointed to. There was a stretcher, two chairs, and a cart on wheels in the room. Nothing else. No pictures on the walls, no lights. On the stretcher was a blue patterned hospital gown.

"So," Walter started, leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "How do you feel today?"

I shrugged. "Ok."

"Did you sleep?" he asked perceptively. I smirked. "Not really."

Surprisingly, the doctor laughed. "Most people don‟t the night before they come here the first time. It‟s ok, I will explain everything as we go along."

I nodded. That seemed to be the only thing that I could do as the nerves started to creep up my body.

"We‟re going to start with a basic physical exam." Walter continued. "Nothing too different from what you‟ve had in the past. After that, we‟ll do a quick CT scan of your brain, followed by an MRI if I feel it necessary. We‟ll do some blood work, and that will be it for the day. All in all, it should only take a few hours."

I nodded.

"Do you have any questions before we start?" his expression was his usual pleasant, supportive look. I could tell he was trying to make me at ease, and didn‟t bother telling him it was futile.

"Will you have the answers today?" I asked, the question coming out before I had even registered it in my mind.

"Yes, I will." He said with a nod. "Depending on what I see, I‟ll determine what, if anything, I may recommend for tomorrow. After reviewing everything I will call you at your hotel or on your mobile this evening to let you know what will happen next. It will either be more tests, or another meeting in my office to discuss the possibility of more tests."

I nodded. He was being very forthcoming, which I appreciated.

"Make sure you leave a contact number with Shirley at the desk before you go," he reminded me.

Again, I nodded.

"Any other questions?" he asked again, as if expecting me to have a million. I did, but none that he would be able to answer yet.

Another question, however, flew past my lips before I realized it was even there. "What will do you if you find something?"

Walter raised an eyebrow. He pressed his lips together in thought, his eyes seeming to survey me much like my mother‟s had when I was a child. For some reason, I felt as if the doctor already knew more than he had let on.

Sitting up straight, he gently tapped his hands on his knees. "I guess that will depend on what I find."