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CHAPTER THIRTEEN; neutron stars ( ZAFIRA )
SEPTEMBER , 2022
SOMETIMES, I WONDER IF I am an asteroid, a solid rock hurtling through the space, ready to crash into the nearest atmosphere. Sometimes, I wonder if I am meant to gasp into flames, to ignite and destroy the things around me. Sometimes, I wonder if I am meant to stay alight forever, to never feel the patter of peace like raindrops to a flower. Sometimes, I wonder if I am meant to exist at all. If I hadn't, would I be cold like the snow that touches the mountains or would I be the fire that destroys generations?
I can't stop my hands from quivering. My breathing is ragged and labored, my heart is turning to ash with the fearful fire that sits in my gut.
I can't stop it.
I can't turn it off.
No matter how many times I shut my eyes and try to ground myself, no matter how many times I try to rationalize that it can't be this bad, the lingering feeling of dread hits me at full force. It's a feeling I've spent the past year running away from. Yet, it seems like it'll always be near me, like a moth to a flame.
I'm never going to escape this thought that nothing will ever be okay again.
My phone sits hot in my hand. My screen taunts me.
☆
TWITTER
user | @username • 23 min ago OMG!1!!11!1 who was that girl in Sapnap's stream??????
200 likes • 30 retweets • 71 replies
user | @username • 6 min ago DID ANYONE HEAR THE GIRL IN SAPNAPS STREAM?
83 likes • 12 retweets • 49 replies
user | @username • 34 min ago Anyone else think the girl in Nick's stream sounds like such a pick me? 😭😭😭
12 likes • 1 retweet • 3 replies
user | @username • 19 min ago #NICK : "george, shut up-" #GIRL? : "babe? oh, shit! sorry." BABE??? WHO IS THAT????
70 likes • 6 retweets • 32 replies
user | @username • 9 minutes ago no cuz the way she said it was so cringe ?/!:! i'm sorry like who even is she