Accolade

chapitre trois

"What is it?" I pressed. 

"What's wrong with her?" Lucy demanded, even though her voice shook. "What did you find?"

Only a breath of silence allowed us to brace ourselves.

"I am so sorry, Aida, but you have Ewing's sarcoma," Dr. Welch told me, "If you had come in a few months earlier, we may have been able to catch it in the early stages. I had some tests done overnight to determine the current stage, and unfortunately, you have progressed into stage four. The tumors have become malignant and the CAT scan showed multiple concerning spots in your legs, which I can only imagine has been causing the increasing leg pain. Your friend has told me a little bit about that while you were asleep." 

He paused to let us soak in the information. "This type of cancer is quite rare and typically occurs in children and young adults, but I've never had a case quite like yours. However, the survival rate is only eight percent, and has been more successful with children than young adults." 

"What are you telling me?" I asked, and my voice didn't even sound like my own. The shock was taking hold and I was beginning to believe this was a horrible nightmare. I was going to wake up soon, right?

"Depending on how the tumors respond to chemotherapy, you might have three months. I wouldn't say more than six based on the condition of your bones, especially if it's able to spread into your bloodstream." 

What was happening to me?

At that moment, my brain could only process one thing. 

"When can I dance again?" 

Dr. Welch looked up at me. For a moment, he contemplated his words, and then he said, "Aida, I think it's best that you don't dance or put any stress on your skeleton. Ewing's sarcoma deteriorates bone structure, and as it continues to progress--or unless chemotherapy can help--your bones will become weaker and weaker." 

I was speechless. Was this real? Did I hear him right? I glanced at Lucy and she had tears in her eyes, her hands clenched into fists as she held them to her lips. It was like she was trying her best not to cry and I felt something horrible flood through me. 

"But... Broadway is in two weeks," I said to Dr. Welch, "I'm their lead, I have to be there." 

He shook his head, "Your body cannot take it, I recommend strict bed rest." 

Bed rest. 

"I'll give you some privacy," Dr. Welch said quietly, "I would suggest calling any family members to let them know as soon as possible. You just never know."

You just never know. 

Three months.

He left us and the door of the hospital had barely clicked shut before Lucy burst into tears. She flung her arms around me and pressed her face into my stomach since it was the most she could do from the chair beside my bed. I placed my hand in her hair and felt bitter, hot tears well in my own eyes. 

This didn't feel real. 

It had to be a dream. 

"Oh, Aida," She cried. 

I had cancer. 

I succumbed to soul-wracking sobs that caused Lucy to stand and crawl into the narrow hospital bed with me and try to hold me together. I clung to her like a newborn baby because I didn't know what else to do. I needed comfort. I was glad she was here with me because I wouldn't have been able to survive the news on my own. It was overwhelming.