The Resident

Sickness Within

You didn't tell the full story to Flint but he seemed to understand what was going on.

'Shit... Don't come in, Jesus (Y/N), you need to get your head around this'.

'I'm sorry-'.

'It's quite alright, I'd rather you be mentally stable during this exhibition'.

He chuckles, 'anyway, get some rest, it sounds like you need it', you wipe your eyes and hum, 'alright, I'll see you next time'.
You hang up and lie down again on the studio floor. Your thoughts are everywhere, in a way, you were all alone.

Get your ass up and stop wallowing in self-pity.

You end up grabbing some art supplies and begin painting, you don't know what you're painting but you just know that there's something hidden deep in those lines that you were making.

+

You finally gather up the confidence to talk to John.

'What would you like to do? Do you want to go out or?'

John smiles down at you, 'how we go out to dinner?' Your mind flashes back to Jackson and you and you try your best to shake the memory away, 'yeah sure, dinner is fine'.

You look at yourself in the mirror and swallow deeply. There was no way you were wearing the same thing as before, there was no fucking way that was happening.

He's just your landlord, you weren't meant to do what you did with him a while ago, just think of other things.

You choose some nice pants and top with an formal coat, this will do, you fix your face up and tidy your hair. Just in time, you hear a knock on the door.

He's here.

You grab your purse and rush over.
John is dressed just as good as Jackson... But you looked quite different, sure you made sure that you look pretty but you realized that you hadn't shown as much care into your appearance like you had with Jackson. But John doesn't seem to mind... Right?

You're glad that he doesn't take you to the restraunt that you had gone with Jackson because that would'be been a big slap in the face for you.
He takes you to a much fancier looking place, 'oh god John, this place looks really expensive', you don't want to look at the menu but John hands one over to you, 'so? I want to treat you out', you find his words comforting.

'Thank you for taking me out, I really appreciate it'.

He hums in response before returning his attention back to the menu.

There were so many dishes in there that you couldn't pick anything. You had to rely on John to help you through.

'I'm not so sure, but my stomach is growling'.

You feel your mouth salivating and you lick your lips to stop drool coming out of your mouth.

In the end, John picked something for you before you hyperventilated. This place was amazing, fine dining at it's best.

'Thank you so much for taking me out'.

You wrap your coat around your body as John walks you out of the restraunt, 'my pleasure, I'm glad you liked it'.
He takes you back to your apartment and you can't help but let him in. You should say goodnight but something tells you that he should stay.

'(Y/N)?'

'Hmm?'

'Are you alright?'

John leans back against the counter next to you, 'are you sure he didn't hurt you?' You know who John is referring to, 'no, Jackson didn't hurt me, I'm being serious', the memory is back and you close your eyes, 'look John, I'd rather not talk about it'.
The feeling between you and John wasn't there at the moment, back then it was, not even when he was here and Jackson was gone, you didn't even want to have sex with John to get your mind off of things.
You jump when John moves closer and touches your shoulder, 'you'll get over him, he's in the past now'.
This was something you would say to your friend, but to have John say that to you? It was a little off.

'John? I think we should call it a night'.

The hope in John's eyes seems to darken and your heart is pounding against your chest as you realize what's happening.
John's suddenly pulling you to your bed, he throws you down and climbs on top of you.

'John? Look John, we can't do-'.

'Just for tonight-'.

'No John'.

His words echo through your head as you think of Jackson, just for tonight, you couldn't do it, at least not now.
You try to puch John off but he's big and heavy and he doesn't want to get off of you, 'John, seriously you need to get off me I-'.

'I want to make you forget about him'.

'I know, but not right now, I don't feel-'.

Your heart is pounding against your chest as he goes down on his elbows, his arm caging your head head, his fingers massaging your head.

'Let me go in you, we don't have to go all the way'.

You hesitate before opening your thighs for him and you watch as John unzips himself and pull himself out.

'I won't hurt you'.

He says gently and you smile up at him, 'I know', you wait until he's back between your thighs and you feel his cock poke your entrance, 'you ready?' He asks.

'Ready'.

You whisper up at him and you scrunch your eyes tight but there isn't much pain and you know why. Jackson had already broken through and you were free. 
John stays inside of you, he doesn't move after botteming out in you. His lips meet yours and he kisses you tenderly.

'Are you okay?'

You're fine, you're not hurt, but you're not so sure about being with John. Your mind is everywhere after you had sex with Jackson. 

'Stop thinking about him'.

John suddenly says and you feel a sudden pang of fear inside of you, 'I'm- not thinking about him, I'm just a little tired'.

'Then close your eyes'.

He whispers down at you, but you don't want to, you're beginning to feel nervous with what's happening. He's not really fucking you, he's not moving his hips, he's just seated in you.

'Please... Get off of me'.

You can't take it anymore and you push away from him, 'that's enough, I don't feel so well', you're not lying, you feel like shit and John seems to believe you, 'I'm- I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel that way'.

'You're fine, I just need some rest'.

He tucks himself away and kisses you on the forehead, 'talk tomorrow', he leaves you alone. You're too tired to lock the door.