Reaching the Top

CHAPTER THREE

"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord," (Proverbs 21:30)

One month later, Mr. Huni was still making excuses.

"Glory I'm still waiting for the right time to make it happen for you okay... give me time."

'But it's been a month,' I complained.

"Patience, patience, patience," he said for the umpteenth time and whenever he said it, my heart sank.

I was full of shame and I was bitter and angry at myself. It didn't look like anything was going to happen for me anytime soon; I had been duped.

However, I still went to church, sang in choir, put up a front, laughed in the sun and cried in the dark. I kept telling myself that I just had to find myself again, move the hell on but it wasn't easy and Gracie couldn't put a finger on it but she could sense that I was hiding something from her and becoming withdrawn by the day.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are My ways your ways," says the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8)

One night as I was going through my emails, I was astonished by what I found - before my eyes was an admissions letter from CABZ, for a permanent job position and not the graduate intern slot which I had compromised my standards for.
It explained how they had been impressed by my performance and they were hoping I would join their team at their Bulawayo offices. I was to work under one of their partners for a while until I got the hang of things.

Instead of getting excited, I got melancholic and I lamented after sending my acceptance email and only told my family the next day.

"...plans to prosper you and not to harm you," Dad said as he patted me on the shoulder and I had to fight back tears and I was saved from blowing my cover by my ringing phone.

'I've got to learn to control my emotions somehow,' I thought to myself.

The call was from Mr. Huni and I thought he was calling to tell me that he finally had everything wrapped up, alas I was wrong. He had called to add salt to my wounds when he admitted that he no longer had the power to do anything anymore. His plan was that of influencing the process by pulling some strings and convincing "the bigwigs" to create one extra slot but they had told him point blank that they had everything under control and would not circumvent the process.

'So, you lied to me?' I retorted in a hoarse whisper.

"I didn't lie to you babe, I was really going to make it happen for you but apparently there are no guarantees in life, you see," I didn't like his tone.

'But you promised and made me...'

"Listen here lady, I didn't make you do anything...you made a choice, you took a chance, which is what life is all about...you win, you lose, you move on!" his voice was icy.

I was stunned to silence. He had a point, I had made a choice, after all, he hadn't had a gun to my head.

"Momma she is not okay," Gracie said quietly, " I can feel her slipping away."

"I'm not a twin but I think she just hasn't recovered from the disappointment," she said thoughtfully.

"I really don't think so, I feel it's something deeper than that, momma, she even avoids me now, even our friends, she keeps to herself most of the time and something about her is dead too."

"I don't know Grace...but let's not make "much ado about nothing"," she said quoting Shakespeare, "But if there is anyone who can get through to her it's you."

"I know but you are the mother, just try talking to her," Gracie pleaded.

"I will if it makes you happy but I doubt if there is anything at all," she said as a matter of fact.

"Thank you amai (momma)," Gracie said putting her hands together in gratitude.

I felt like I had a rock in my chest when I went to sign my contract. I was being tormented by my compromise and it sucked.

Luckily a warm welcome awaited me at the CABZ headquarters where I got to sign my contract. The package included accommodation in a bachelor's flat and that cheered me up. I thought the move was going to be a catalyst to my healing and fresh start and I hoped I was right.

If only I had been a little patient, trusted a little and waited for God's time, it'd have saved me.

He knew me before I was born and had major plans for me but like Adam and Eve, I took the forbidden fruit and it was coming back to me now.