Reaching the Top

CHAPTER TWO

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven."(Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Gracie and I had embarked on the journey of life on the same day and I somehow expected everything about us to happen simultaneously as well. We had gone through all the various stages of childhood development from adolescence and puberty right through to adulthood literally side-by-side until it came to graduation as I graduated first from college particularly because the program I had studied for was shorter than Gracie's course.

'You must wish you were me right now,' I winked at Gracie as I slipped into the bedcovers.

"Can we play our switching game one more time?" she pleaded with her eyes.

'Sorry to break this to you but you will blow it within a second sweetheart,' I teased.

"Don't be so sure, I'm as good as your clone," Gracie chuckled and I laughed.

For once I was ahead and it was really something to feel good about if my crazy theories were anything to go by. The top students in my class were offered job placements by the Chartered Accountants Board at the time and were to receive confirmation emails a week after graduation. Throughout the week, I constantly felt a tingling sensation from head to toe as I had every reason to believe I was going to be one of the beneficiaries on the list.

"I would leave room for disappointment," Dad said one night as we sat at the dining table for our supper.

"Behold Glory Moyo was the creme de la creme," Grace chimed in with dancing eyes.

"There are two sides to every coin you know," Dad said quietly.

'Don't be a pessimist Dad,' I said rolling my eyes.

"Thou shall not be a doubting Thomas," momma said smiling.

'Newsflash...I'm actually done with my wardrobe change Dad...talk about a step of faith,' I announced.

"I like your faith child and I'm so proud of you, don't you ever forget that," Dad finally said softly.

"Thanks Dad," I grinned.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21)

The week in question came and went but it had nothing for me. No email, no message, no call and I was confused. What shocked me was that five of my colleagues had posted on their timelines;

"First day at work...thank you CABZ!!"

I could not understand why I was missing in action and by the end of the week, I was losing my mind. Without telling anyone, I called my lecturer in charge only to be told to kindly check my email in an hour and when I did, my heart broke into a million pieces.

"We regret to inform you that you did not make it to the top five list of the shortlisted candidates...we wish you all the best in your endeavors."

For a minute, I thought my heart would stop as tears blinded my eyes. I just wondered how they could come up with a top five without the creme de la creme. I was crushed especially after the hard work I had put in.

"...clothe yourself with humility toward one another because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (1 Peter 5:5)

I was heartbroken but as always, my family was there for me. They tried to make it easy to bear but it just didn't happen. I had to find a way to redeem myself and I did. After all I expected to be at the top and I was not going to let anyone rob me of that. I decided to respond to my email seeking audience with the Lecturer in Charge and I was granted my wish which was a good sign, I thought to myself. The meeting was going to be the following morning and I felt victorious until Mr. Huni, (the lecturer in charge) called to say he could only meet me at the Jameson Hotel at lunch time because he wasn't at the school premises that day.

Mr. Huni's request had me quite taken aback and the inner man being so loyal, gave me a gentle warning against the plan but the heart wanted what it wanted. Not going sounded really insane with how desperate I felt and especially after having requested for audience myself. I had to be at the top and this was an opportunity worth grabbing, I told myself over and over again but thinking about it now I don't get how I could have been so desperate barely a month after graduating. Beats me!!

Having dressed up and looking as good as can be, I walked towards the reception at the hotel. Covering the distance from Mt Pleasant rank to the hotel wasn't that much of a hustle to get to Samora Machel avenue where Jameson Hotel stood in all its splendor.

I asked for Mr. Huni as per instruction on arrival and my heart sank when the lovely receptionist gave me a room number and directed me to the elevator with her eyes searching mine, but I was quick to look away and thank her profusely before she could further our conversation.

Even though every step that I took to room 90 seemed suicidal, they also felt like they were steps to the top for me. I wasn't sure why he had chosen a hotel room but the way my heart was thudding so hard threatening to break my rib cage spelt danger in as much as I tried denying it. What awaited me in room 90 was something I was not prepared for as Mr. Huni stood before me covered in a drying towel. I was shocked but he was quick to calm my nerves and make sure I didn't run.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this Miss Glory, in this heat I just thought a shower would do me good," he spoke gently with his eyes not leaving my gaze then he offered me a seat.

Mr. Huni was in his late thirties, good-looking, married and with four kids. He was tall and somewhat of a hunk with a maturity he used to conceal his predatory instincts as evidenced by the mischievous look in his eyes.

"I really can get you what you want you know, but we have to meet halfway," he was even embarrassed as he said it with a smile that made me wince but I had on a mechanical smile for him. As I listened to him, I somehow was reminded of Jesus and Satan tempting Him after His forty day fast.

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil." (Matthew 4:1)

God always provides a way for His own to overcome temptations only if they listen, but I chose to give in.

"Everything is just going to be just as you wanted it," those were his last words as he left me sitting on the edge of the bed naked holding my clothes in shame and disgust at what had just happened and feeling like I had re-crucified Christ.

It seemed as if I had just traded my innocence and my purity cheaply all in the name of getting to the top by myself. I threw away the Lord's script and was writing my own unaware of how much I was grieving the Spirit. As I sat in the bathtub, I wanted the water to not only cleanse my body but the guilt, shame and condemnation. For the first time in my life, I felt defeated but I also told myself that I had had no choice. The tears came and went but the heavy heart remained and I knew I just had to act like everything was okay for a very long time to bury the memory of what had happened on this day - nobody had to know.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..." (John 10:10)

As much as I wanted to deny it, something died inside of me that day; it went away with my purity which made it all the more devastating. I didn't want to care or to think about it so I didn't. "The power of choices"
My sister surprisingly knew that something was wrong the moment I walked in - the perks of being a twin.

"What's up?" she asked concerned.

'The sky, dummy,' I let out a dry laugh but she kept looking at me.

"Dude if you don't know, that's my way of telling you I know you are not okay," she rolled her eyes.

'Do not be deceived by the so-called twin instinct sis,' I brushed her off, 'I've never been better,' I lied.

"You cannot fool me, you know that, right?" Gracie said as a matter of fact, " but I won't pressure you...tell me whenever you are ready," she said not leaving my gaze, "but just pray the ears will still be open," she teased and I forced a smile as she left my room.

I let out a sigh and wondered how long I was going to keep this up.

The good part though was that my parents didn't really notice that something was amiss. They just assumed I was still mourning my rejection email and I was relieved.