sold to phoebe bridgers

conversations with friends (signed copy)

"phoebe i really love what you've done with the place," taylor said. she pointed to the bookshelf that was in your corner. it had a single book on it and a gate roping it off. you were a little scared you might accidentally knock it over in your sleep. 

"right? did you know i did a song for the trailer aha" phoebe said. you walked over to read the book but phoebe threw a wine glass at you. 

"um yeah ik that my boyfriend is literally the star-" taylor said but she was interrupted. 

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING THAT THAT IS A SIGNED COPY HELLO??" she yelled. you backed away. 

"sorry i just haven't read the book but i would like to read it," you said starting to cry. phoebe sighed. 

"y/n i know your name is y/n but you need to stop acting like her. please. i'm getting you color contacts tomorrow so i never have to look at your cerulean sparkling ocean sky blue orbs ever again." 

"what's wrong with my orbs?" you sobbed. taylor tapped at her phone and showed you a picture. it was jake gyllenhaal's merch! the very same one your mom had sold you to purchase!

"oh my god," you whispered slapping a hand over your mouth. "is that what i look like?" 

"yeah. spitting image actually." 

"holy shit," you said. you curled up in the fetal position on your pile of blankets. "is this hell?" 

"no. but i was actually thinking of moving to hell," phoebe said stroking her chin. she walked back over to the table and showed taylor a picture. "what do you think?"

"it looks kind of haunted." 

"yeah that's the whole point. it literally says haunted house in the description." 

"i love the picket fence. it's cute." 

sniveling, you walked over to the table to see. phoebe showed you a picture of a very victorian dark academia dead poets society hogwarts core house. it looked absolutely terrifying but it seemed like an upgrade from the one room apartment you were living in. you weren't going to tell phoebe that though. 

"i like it," you kind of lied. you didn't like the idea of ghosts but then again phoebe had skeletons in her closet. 

"cool. we'll move there after we go to kyoto. i'll settle this," she said as she gestured to the apartment, "while we're in the airport."

"omg can i come??" taylor asked. 

"yeah obvi," phoebe said. "this works out so well y/n your stuff hasn't even been unloaded yet!!!!!!"

"yasss but there is the slight problem that i don't have a passport?" 

phoebe sighed and poured more wine. taylor placed a hand on her shoulder. 

"oh phoebe not everyone can go on world tours and write songs about international destinations that get 75 million streams," she said. phoebe drank her wine (melissa kinnie). 

"she can hide in my suitcase!" phoebe said as she got a great (not actually great) idea. 

"that's a bad idea," you said. "what about security?"

"fuck the cops wym? we'll figure it out. go to bed we have a long flight tomorrow!" 

you went to sleep and dreamt of ireland.