y/n is sold to phoebe bridgers so her mom can buy jake gyllenhaal merch :(( will she win a pissing contest? will she max out her credit card using a payphone in japan? read to find out😦
"y/n get down here!" your mom yelled from downstairs. you were very confused at the moment because every goddamn(my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand) thing in your entire room was gone??? you went downstairs because maybe your mom knew where all your shit was.
holy shit all your stuff was in fact downstairs!!!!!!!!! like even your bug infested LED lights bruh :((
"mom what the hell why is all my stuff down here.." you asked stomping into the kitchen with your teensy weensy microscopic petite silky blonde body and sky blue cerulean orbs.
"i'm selling you."
"wait like to one direction??!"
"nope i don't have the money to get jake gyllenhaal merch how do you think i can pay for an arrangement with harry styles tf?"
"sorry whose merch?" you asked🧏♀️
"you heard me!!!"
the merch:
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"i thought you might like it since the orbs look just like you??"
"mom what the f no i don't like it since you're selling me to buy this????????"
"oh my bad. but she's already on her way xx" your mom said patting your teeny tiny itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout head.
"WHO'S ON HER WAY?"
"phoebe bridgers who else?"
"idk maybe harry styles?? that's what usually happens in these type of situations?"
"oh no i put you up for grabs on craigslist i don't think harry styles goes on craigslist......."
"yeah you're probably right tbh. ok so did you at least pack my stuff?"
your mom nodded and pointed to the front door where all of your stuff was packed. even your yellow phoebe bridgers shirt that has flowers and her boobs on it. shit you might have to hide that if you're going to live with her...
