Deliverance [h.s.]

forty-nine | comfort

Which puts us at a total of: 920,000.

At this rate, with 32 days left, we're right on track to just barely get the money in time.

I huffed quietly, rolling over to lay on my back, still in Harry's lap with my eyes now facing him.

"One more question?" I ask.

"Is it sad?" Harry's brow cocked inquisitively.

"I don't know; you tell me."

With a wordless reply, he nodded his head, taking in a small breath as he resumed his toying with my chocolate brown hair sprawled in front of him.

"What happened, Harry?" I could see the stun on his soul, not anticipating that question from me.

I did say I wouldn't forget, didn't I?

Ideally I wouldn't want to have this conversation at three in the morning, but I know Harry's mind won't find ease any quicker the longer this drags on. I deserve answers as well. If things keep going the way they are, I'm just as deserving of ease as he is.

"I- It's not, we- we don't need to talk about it-" He mumbled out, body going rigid.

"No, I want to talk about it. Tell me what's scaring you Harry. Tell me what changed, I want to know," I propped myself up, turning to face him sitting straight up on the bed. His hands fall to his lap defeated at this withdrawal of my proximity.

"Would you- are you going to leave once you get the money? Are you just using me or-or leading me on?"

Harry's hesitant voice split my heart in two. He sounded scared, small, as if I were one of the homes he was going to be taken from. I moved closer on the bed, trying to close as much space between us while still making sure we were face to face.

"Oh Harry, you know me." I tried to say more but I was cut off.

"Do I? Do I know you?"

My mind cycles through all of our interactions, working to decipher what he does and doesn't know about me, what I'm comfortable sharing, the things I would rather take to my grave. As much as I feel like i've been open with him, as open as I can be, maybe it's not enough. I don't think he's asking for the deepest parts of me, but i'll give him whatever I can to show him I'm true.

"When I was little I used to be obsessed with snowflakes, like ridiculous; I wanted to be a hydrologist. I think that would've been a safer job than this one but would it have been as fun? Probably not." I start off easy, slowly breaking down my walls to let him in. "I've never had any pets but if I did have one I think I would want a cat, or maybe a bunny. My first plant was my N'Joy Pothos, but do you know what my favorite type of flower is?"

I could see a small smile curl on the corner of his lips as he gave me a light shake of his head back and forth.

"Peonies," I smile back, "They were my grandma's favorite too. Every year, I make sure to get a bouquet of them on the anniversary of her death. Baby pink and white ones to be exact, her favorite and now mine. "

I trailed off, peering up at the ceiling to try and come up with something more interesting about myself.

"Oh, sometimes I like to look at myself and try to guess which features I got from my parents. I wonder if they're still together, or if I have other siblings I don't know about. That sounds a lot weirder when I say it out loud," I mumble through a laugh, avoiding eye contact with Harry.

"You've never talked about your parents before," Harry's words came out cautiously, I couldn't tell if it was a question or a statement. "What happened to them?"