A Pirate's Life For Us

Chapter 14 - Amends

"Babe, no!" came Black Pete's voice from behind his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. You're welcome to come with me. But I'm not staying on a ship with a man who tried to kill me."

Ed straightened. "I didn't!" a pause, "Well, I did, a bit. But then I felt bad about it. And I had Fang send you the dinghy. Even had him pack you a lunch."

"Soap is not a lunch, Edward Teach," said Lucius with a little foot stomp. "Wait...I thought...Fang just saw me go overboard and decided to help?"

Ed worried his fingers together and ducked his head. He had done so many terrible things, but somehow this felt especially bad. He knew Stede was watching him, but couldn't turn to face him.

"Naw, captain found me and mumbled how you'd fallen over and to send you a boat. But to not let you back on board," came Fang's voice from behind Black Pete.

"Well, why doesn't everybody come on in, seeing as you're all hovering around the door?" said Ed grumpily.

He didn't really mean it, but soon enough, the whole crew filed into the cabin. Seeing as Ed had dumped all the furniture into the sea, there was plenty of room.

"Look, all of you. I was..."

"A right bastard?" finished Wee John.

Ed snap-pointed. "Yes. That. Mistakes were definitely made. Certain individuals were marooned or thrown overboard. And I don't have an excuse, except to say I am a product of my environment, as we all are," he gestured grandly. "We've all done things we regret. And all I can do is ask that you let me make it up to you. I wouldn't blame any of you if you went with Captain Bonny, either to join her or to find a new berth. But I do hope you consider staying."

"Everyone..." Stede shifted more upright in his bed. "What Ed's just said is very brave. On this ship, and this crew, we talk it out when we're upset. We support each other. So please, if anyone else has feelings to share, this is a safe space. I think we should start with Lucius who was..." he cleared his throat, "...the one he came closest to killing."

Lucius turned a little pink. The man was no stranger to attention, but something about this seemed to make him particularly uncomfortable. After a moment, he found his voice. "I was rooting for you both. And it just feels particularly hurtful that I'm the one who helped you realize your feelings and I was almost killed for it."

Ed motioned and inclined his head. "That is very fair. I acknowledge your feelings, Lucius. But I will say, that's the reason I took my anger out on you in particular. I was hurting..." he pressed a hand to his chest, "...and you were the one I knew could talk me down. And I didn't want to be talked down. I wanted to hurt and be hurt. Now..." he held up a hand, "...that's an explanation and not an excuse."

Bonny was listening to all of it with a wry little smile. Ed knew she probably found it ridiculous, but he had to admit, being honest about your feelings did seem helpful.

"Lucius..." said Bonny after a moment, "...I can give you a lift to shore, but I'm afraid there's not a position for you on the William."

"What?"

"Yes, well, you see, I can read and write. As can several other members of my crew. It doesn't make sense to employ someone whose duty is primarily that. So..."

"Oh..." seethed Lucius, hands balled into fists at his side.

"Babe..." said Black Pete softly. "C'mon. Give him another chance. If he fucks up again, I'll help you kill him in his sleep."

Ed twitched. But he had to admit that was fair.

Lucius looked like he'd just taken a big bite of a particularly sour lemon. "Fuck!" he exclaimed. "I suppose I don't have a choice. But..." he held up his wooden finger. "Pete and I get the room."

"Done," said Ed, to the groans of Frenchie and Wee John.

—

The crew spent about an hour airing various concerns and grievances. The list was long enough that Lucius ended up taking up his position again and recording most of it for posterity. There were changes coming, not only because of the crew's concerns but because Stede could no longer afford to pay them their salary.

Ed was confident it would all work out.

Bonny had said her goodbyes about an hour before. In the end, the original Revenge crew remained on the ship. That surprised Ed a little bit. He had expected a few of them might weigh anchor and leave them. But Stede had called them a family, and he supposed that you stick things out for family in a way you don't for others.

Stede was sleeping. He still looked a little pale. Every time Ed looked at that bandage, he felt a stab of guilt as if a sword had entered his own shoulder.

He spent the quiet moment studying the other man. At the soft lines on his face, at the sparse curls of blonde chest hair where his nightshirt drooped down, at the line of a sunburn on his neck from time spent in the rowboat.

He watched the rhythm of Stede's breathing, checking to be sure it was regular and even. Ed resisted the urge to slide his fingers through the man's thick blond hair, and instead settled for taking a lungful of his scent.

"Oi..." murmured Stede as he opened his eyes the tiniest bit. "Are you staring at me?"

Ed pursed his lips and shifted closer. Now that the other man was awake, he indulged with fingers through his hair and an arm gently draped over him. "I didn't mean to wake you," he murmured.

It felt so good to hold him. To smell him. To feel his warmth and hear the nasal sing-song of his voice. He was a strange, poncy man who was reckless and ridiculous.

And Ed loved him very much, for all those reasons and more.

"I sort of drifted off towards the end of the meeting. What was decided about the prisoners?"

"They're still here. Locked up. I didn't want to decide what to do with them without you, Since we're...co-..."

"Co-captains," Stede finished. "Well, what do you think we should do?"

"If we were smart? We'd slit their throats and throw them overboard."

"Ed..." Stede intoned.

"I know, I know. But in my experience," said Ed, "...it's a bad idea to leave your enemies alive. That kind of thing comes back to bite you."