[a short story about letting go, complete at 8k words ]
Wheelchair-bound and dream crushed, Esme Lance gives life one last chance, but at that, all she can do is sit back and watch Devon Zachary die.
Ruston gazes down at me with wide eyes, the colour of a monsoon sky in the eastern part of the universe. His long eyelashes cast inky shadows on his cheeks. His jaw is sharp, a thin bead of sweat snakes it's way down his hairline.
No wonder Devon found him attractive. Ruston was beautiful.
"What is it?" I enquire as I tug my wheels back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. The October skies cast it's threatening rain clouds above us, I feel the humidity in the air, the bazz of asphodels beating in the wind, the cherry scents of a lonely pumpkin spice hovering just above us. And I can feel Devon breathing inside his grave. He must be jealous that I'm talking to his best friend.
"I loved Dev so much, it hurt to have him not near me all the time" Ruston says as he looks far away into the autumn trees. I do the same. "I don't get why he had to die at seventeen. Fuck it, Esme, why did he even die?"
I flinch at his bitter tone and chew my lips. My throat is getting pinched and my breathing is laboured. I'm scared that Ruston might make a move to throw things at Devon's grave, but he seems fine when I look at him again.
"He said it wasn't his choice. He told me great things, Ruston. Wise and great things actually." I speak and a lone tear escaped my eyes and falls to my lap, I play with the stained fabric.
"Thats great, he never told me wise things but he told me his versions of fairytales. It was ridiculous" Ruston shakes his head as if thinking up the memory and tossing it in the dustbin.
"Tell me one"
"He once said if the sleeping beauty could've been kissed by a girl, how would have that looked like? He said people would never let their kids read it and shit. I never believed him" Ruston's voice shakes, he folds his hands across his chest.
"Same with Ariel; what if she'd sacrificed her voice to be with a princess rather than a prince? What would have happened?" Ruston looks at me intently, and I look away, my thoughts mushed into each other like a dainty puzzle.
"What did he say?" I ask
"He said Ariel's dad would kill himself" Ruston shrugs.
"Did you love him?" My tongue speaks on its own and my legs and arms relax when a soft smile spreads itself like honey on Ruston's lips.
"Rephrase the question, Esme"
"Um....Do you love him?"
"I do, and I will forever, even if he was straight or bi-curious or whatever" Ruston speaks as he looks at me and I notice the sun's rays catching his inky chestnut hair. He was my first kiss, Esme. I still remember the look on his face, he was confused and I wanted the floor to swallow me, but then - he smiled and we talked about the fact that I kissed him and he was too kind to take it as a mistake"
My heart flutters and a thousand images of Ruston and Devon kissing in one of their bedrooms rampage my mind. So the boy he kissed is Ruston, it dawns on me now and I should've realized it earlier.
And I didn't know whose lips he liked better; a girl's or a boy's? I wish I could have an answer.
"What did he say to you last?" I ask out of the blue.
Ruston ponders for a moment or two before slowly turning his head towards me, he bends down to sit on the grass so that he has to look up at me, his hands are on my handrest. His smile is sad, so sad that I catch myself thinking about Devon again.
Thier smiles match.
"He said and I quote; "Be fine, Rust. You'll find better boys"
"What did he say to you?" he asks.
I look at Ruston reluctantly and I say before I lose myself in the nightmares again, before I let my eyes catch sight of Devon's grave a few meters away.
"Adios, Esmé"
╳
THE END
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